And we're back! After the short little blurp in my walk through life that I was experiencing during my last post, I am back to regular programming as it were. I've realized that I've almost forgotten my list of 100 things to do before I die. I believe I've only managed to cross out 2 things on the list! That leaves 98 things to do before I die. I had better get on it!
I officially had my birthday on sunday, and it was great! Didn't do anything really exciting, I just relaxed. Got lots of gifts and cards though ;) I truly think the only reason why most people remember birthdays now is because of Facebook. But hey, I'm not complaining! I got spoiled. It was fantastic.
Thats...pretty much all I had to say! Pretty exciting, no?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Confusion of the Heart
I don't understand what is going on in my head. I don't know what I want. Well thats not completely true. Its like...my head wants one thing and my heart wants another thing, which sounds like a corny line from a movie, but bear with me. My head wants to be alone, it wants to travel, it wants to experience new things, new places, new foods, new languages. It wants to be free in all aspects of the word. It wants to take advantage of independence, to only be responsible for itself, to grow and flourish.
But my heart? How can I explain what my heart wants? It wants to be held and captured, to be enchanted. It wants to be dependent on another. It wants to be flirted with and seduced. And it wants the attention of the sort of people that are totally wrong for it, that will only hurt it in the end.
How am I going to rid myself of that portion of my life? I don't want to see the people that can do nothing but harm me and want to be close to them. That doesn't even make sense! My head is telling me that they are dangerous, that they would only hurt my heart, that I should look the other direction. Yet I am still intrigued by them and would be almost willing to throw away all common sense and discretion just to get to know them. And for some reason, I want that struggle to be there. I want to be faced with the decision to be wise or to go forward with wreckless abandon.
Part of me says that I am being way too cautious, that I need to have some fun and really experience my age before its gone. The other part of me says that I need to grow up and realize what the consequences of my actions could be, and that I would just get hurt in the end.
This fight inside me really hurts. Mostly because both sides of me are beating up the other side. The wise side is smacking the foolish side upside the head because I'm being stupid. The foolish side is smacking the wise side because it needs to loosen up a bit.
Still hurts though.
Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me, I’m all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?
But my heart? How can I explain what my heart wants? It wants to be held and captured, to be enchanted. It wants to be dependent on another. It wants to be flirted with and seduced. And it wants the attention of the sort of people that are totally wrong for it, that will only hurt it in the end.
How am I going to rid myself of that portion of my life? I don't want to see the people that can do nothing but harm me and want to be close to them. That doesn't even make sense! My head is telling me that they are dangerous, that they would only hurt my heart, that I should look the other direction. Yet I am still intrigued by them and would be almost willing to throw away all common sense and discretion just to get to know them. And for some reason, I want that struggle to be there. I want to be faced with the decision to be wise or to go forward with wreckless abandon.
Part of me says that I am being way too cautious, that I need to have some fun and really experience my age before its gone. The other part of me says that I need to grow up and realize what the consequences of my actions could be, and that I would just get hurt in the end.
This fight inside me really hurts. Mostly because both sides of me are beating up the other side. The wise side is smacking the foolish side upside the head because I'm being stupid. The foolish side is smacking the wise side because it needs to loosen up a bit.
Still hurts though.
Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me, I’m all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Everybody's Working for the Weekend
Yes, its true. Everybody IS working for the weekend. Though for me, I think I'm now working for a bit further in the future. I'm working for my future trips and my future house (which is going to be amazing. Don't know where it is or anything like that, I just know its going to be freaking awesome.). I really have not a whole lot to report at the moment, just feel a need to talk. To myself. In my head. Ever get those moments? I have nothing important to say. Just wasting some space.
Although now that I think of it, I really need to vent. Ever have those people in your life that you've known for YEARS but never really gotten to know...then they become friends with one of your best friends so you start having to get to know them. Not too long after, you realize that this person is nice piece of work. And yes thats sarcasm. This girl has single-handedly managed to destroy my friendship with two of my closest friends. And don't ask me how she did it, I have no idea! It was like a tiny atomic bomb that she planted without anyone knowing it or realizing it and then BOOM. Friendship gone. Thats literally how it worked. I just got in a fight with Trevor, and I've never fought with him before. We started yelling at each other and now we aren't talking. He talked to Jared though, and now Jared is mad at me and wants to yell at me. I told him I didn't think it was necessary, so now he isn't talking to me either. And it is ALL because of this girl. NOW I remember why I have trouble being friends with girls. These people.
Going for a massage tonight, woohoo! Getting ready for a business trip that I have next week. Should be fun!
Although now that I think of it, I really need to vent. Ever have those people in your life that you've known for YEARS but never really gotten to know...then they become friends with one of your best friends so you start having to get to know them. Not too long after, you realize that this person is nice piece of work. And yes thats sarcasm. This girl has single-handedly managed to destroy my friendship with two of my closest friends. And don't ask me how she did it, I have no idea! It was like a tiny atomic bomb that she planted without anyone knowing it or realizing it and then BOOM. Friendship gone. Thats literally how it worked. I just got in a fight with Trevor, and I've never fought with him before. We started yelling at each other and now we aren't talking. He talked to Jared though, and now Jared is mad at me and wants to yell at me. I told him I didn't think it was necessary, so now he isn't talking to me either. And it is ALL because of this girl. NOW I remember why I have trouble being friends with girls. These people.
Going for a massage tonight, woohoo! Getting ready for a business trip that I have next week. Should be fun!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Working for the Weekend
Finally Friday and I don't think I could be in a better mood! It has been a really amazing week and there isn't even a good reason for it. Its just gone by really quickly and been really relaxing. And I've got one heck of a weekend coming up!
I have been housesitting for the past 2 weeks and they are coming back tomorrow so I have a bunch of cleaning to do tomorrow morning. I have a martial arts weapons class after that, relax for a few hours, salsa class, going for sushi with a girl friend, then I'm going to the mountains for the next several days since I get Monday off of work, woohoo! I tell you, this martial arts class has been doing wonders for my health and mood. I am getting back in shape (finally getting those abs back ;) and I go for massages every Thursday night. Last nights was brutally painful, I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, but this morning I feel great! He has found muscles that I swear I never knew existed. And found the knots in them too. How fantastic. But its all for the greater good so it works.
In other news, someone randomly organized my desk for me today. A hint? Hehe. But I can't figure out who it was! And no one else seems to know either. It wasn't the cleaning people because that isn't their job and they could get fired for moving someones desk objects and papers around. So I can't figure it out. Whoever it was, thanks! Looks great.
I also have a new found love for Chantal Kreviazuk. Started with me watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the song during the credits "Weight of the World". I can't believe I never realized how great her music was before.
And in exactly one month is my birthday. Hurrah! I never usually celebrate it until January or so because I just don't have time in December and neither do a lot of other people. Looking forward to it though!
I have been housesitting for the past 2 weeks and they are coming back tomorrow so I have a bunch of cleaning to do tomorrow morning. I have a martial arts weapons class after that, relax for a few hours, salsa class, going for sushi with a girl friend, then I'm going to the mountains for the next several days since I get Monday off of work, woohoo! I tell you, this martial arts class has been doing wonders for my health and mood. I am getting back in shape (finally getting those abs back ;) and I go for massages every Thursday night. Last nights was brutally painful, I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, but this morning I feel great! He has found muscles that I swear I never knew existed. And found the knots in them too. How fantastic. But its all for the greater good so it works.
In other news, someone randomly organized my desk for me today. A hint? Hehe. But I can't figure out who it was! And no one else seems to know either. It wasn't the cleaning people because that isn't their job and they could get fired for moving someones desk objects and papers around. So I can't figure it out. Whoever it was, thanks! Looks great.
I also have a new found love for Chantal Kreviazuk. Started with me watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the song during the credits "Weight of the World". I can't believe I never realized how great her music was before.
And in exactly one month is my birthday. Hurrah! I never usually celebrate it until January or so because I just don't have time in December and neither do a lot of other people. Looking forward to it though!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Whats the Problem?
If its not one person driving me out of my mind, its another. I am seriously considering moving to Ireland. Permanently. I have this lovely little daily calendar by my desk of pictures of Ireland and mmmm, those green hills sound mighty fine right now.
Do some people not catch when you just don't want to talk about something? They ask you a question, you give a short, curt reply, thinking that will take care of everything and boom! Long, extensive email reply. And I understand that as a girl I'm supposed to be a lot more like that. Its supposed to be a guy thing to not want to talk about things, isn't it? Maybe I should have been born a guy. That would not have been nearly so much fun though. But I digress.
I may have overreacted a bit, handled something a little less than well. I figure if I didn't do it directly to you, that should be okay, right? Maybe thats a bad attitude to have but hey, if I don't even really know you, I shouldn't have to talk to you. I should deal with the person that I actually know and directly did something to and that should take care of it, right? Apparently not! Stupid people.
Now I understand why guys get so irritated when you press them and press them for answers. Sometimes it needs to be discussed but some things are better left alone. With the present situation, I'm going with the latter rather than the former. Things aren't looking good.
On a brighter side I'm going to the mountains this weekend! Looking forward to it...
Do some people not catch when you just don't want to talk about something? They ask you a question, you give a short, curt reply, thinking that will take care of everything and boom! Long, extensive email reply. And I understand that as a girl I'm supposed to be a lot more like that. Its supposed to be a guy thing to not want to talk about things, isn't it? Maybe I should have been born a guy. That would not have been nearly so much fun though. But I digress.
I may have overreacted a bit, handled something a little less than well. I figure if I didn't do it directly to you, that should be okay, right? Maybe thats a bad attitude to have but hey, if I don't even really know you, I shouldn't have to talk to you. I should deal with the person that I actually know and directly did something to and that should take care of it, right? Apparently not! Stupid people.
Now I understand why guys get so irritated when you press them and press them for answers. Sometimes it needs to be discussed but some things are better left alone. With the present situation, I'm going with the latter rather than the former. Things aren't looking good.
On a brighter side I'm going to the mountains this weekend! Looking forward to it...
Monday, November 5, 2007
And the Award for Most Confusing Individual Ever goes to....
Ahh, the drama continues! So, as I mentioned in my previous post, a former friend has gotten himself engaged. Which I ranted about a bit.
I saw him yesterday and I just wanted to avoid him. That worked out well. He sat down beside me at one point and apologized for being a jerk a few nights back. This is how the conversation went after that:
Friend: "So I want your opinion."
Me: "On what."
Friend: "You know exactly what I'm talking about"
Me: "I really don't want to talk about this."
Friend: "Come on, I want to know what you think"
Me: "I think its a bad idea."
Friend: "Okay. Now what do you REALLY think?"
Me: "Why does this even matter?"
Okay, now this is where things got weird. Keeping in mind that my friendship with him has been nearly destroyed over the last year and I can't remember the last time we actually talked about anything other than the weather...
Friend: "Because your opinion has always meant a lot to me. I think you are very intelligent, well-informed...and so anything that you tell me will be well-informed."
And he went on a bit about a wealth of experience or something like that.
Me: "Wow...thank you. Okay, honestly I think it is way too soon, you aren't ready, and its overall a really bad idea."
Friend: "Okay, well its really important to me that you know that I realize how soon this is."
Etc.
Friend: "Can you please come to me from now on and tell me what you think about things?"
Me: "Well we don't really have the kind of friendship where I can just go up to you and tell you that I think you're an idiot."
And the conversation kind of blurs from there.
...what??
ANYWAYS.
Went to a hockey game on saturday night, followed by a movie with Jared and Taylor. We saw The Kingdom which was, in a word, AMAZING. One of the best movies I've ever seen. I highly recommend it!
Now back to the real world...
Friday, November 2, 2007
Ahh, young love
So I find myself in an unbelievably good mood this morning, which is fantastic and for several reasons.
Just got a massage last night which was extremely relaxing, so I slept VERY well. This guy is amazing! It hurts at the time, but hes doing it to fix my back, neck and jaw, so I guess I'd rather it hurt and get fixed, than feel relaxing and do next to nothing. So that was amazing.
Next, I got the chance to send around an incriminating photo of my boss to all employees, which was fantastic. Hes a good friend of mine, so its all good.
And last but not least, an acquaintance of mine got engaged. And I think hes an idiot. So why am I in a good mood about it? It just makes me laugh. He can barely support himself and just had to find a new job because he lost his last one. Hes a high school drop out and...20 years old. And hes proposing to his girlfriend who makes more than him. On Halloween. And she accepted. All of the above is extremely humorous to me. He used to be my best friend and then started getting a little too close for comfort when I was in Peru, so I had to cut him out completely. When I got back, obviously things were very different. All in all, he has a LOT of potential. Just needs to go back to school and finish things up and do more in life than video and computer games, and hes set! But he refuses to. So I gave up nagging him to go back. So now when I see him doing something like this, I just have to shake my head. It can't end well. Not from what I know of him. Shes a sweet girl from what I know of her, nice enough, but she has NO idea what she is getting herself into.
Oh well, best of luck to both of them! The best part is when I see something like this, it reminds me of why I am single. And happy about it.
Now, off to go plan my next trip...
Just got a massage last night which was extremely relaxing, so I slept VERY well. This guy is amazing! It hurts at the time, but hes doing it to fix my back, neck and jaw, so I guess I'd rather it hurt and get fixed, than feel relaxing and do next to nothing. So that was amazing.
Next, I got the chance to send around an incriminating photo of my boss to all employees, which was fantastic. Hes a good friend of mine, so its all good.
And last but not least, an acquaintance of mine got engaged. And I think hes an idiot. So why am I in a good mood about it? It just makes me laugh. He can barely support himself and just had to find a new job because he lost his last one. Hes a high school drop out and...20 years old. And hes proposing to his girlfriend who makes more than him. On Halloween. And she accepted. All of the above is extremely humorous to me. He used to be my best friend and then started getting a little too close for comfort when I was in Peru, so I had to cut him out completely. When I got back, obviously things were very different. All in all, he has a LOT of potential. Just needs to go back to school and finish things up and do more in life than video and computer games, and hes set! But he refuses to. So I gave up nagging him to go back. So now when I see him doing something like this, I just have to shake my head. It can't end well. Not from what I know of him. Shes a sweet girl from what I know of her, nice enough, but she has NO idea what she is getting herself into.
Oh well, best of luck to both of them! The best part is when I see something like this, it reminds me of why I am single. And happy about it.
Now, off to go plan my next trip...
Monday, October 29, 2007
Mambo No. 5
I had the best weekend that I have had in a LONG time! I just really needed to get out of town, and although it wasn't all that far, it is still effective. Stayed in a beautiful hotel, did lots of swimming, relaxing, watching movies and shopping. It was fantastic and very timely.
Now I'm just getting ready for Halloween, which should be a lot of fun! I would be going to a Halloween party of some sort but I have never done that in all my years of "Halloweening" so I will stick with what I do every year: help out with the Halloween party at my church for the kids. I love dressing up but I don't have as much of a sweet tooth as I used to and I don't do a lot of drinking so I might as well load the kids up with bags and bags of candy. I'm also running a karaoke section and leading all the music for it, which will be a lot of fun. I just love karaoke. Especially when its Disney songs. Because I'm that much of a loser. I'm secretly hoping no kids show up so that I can just do the karaoke by myself and eat all of their candy. Especially the cotton candy. That will be fun.
And we're coming up towards December pretty soon! Which means its time for Christmas shopping. I've already had a head start on buying gifts, but that was over a month ago and I haven't bought anything since then. If I don't get going now, I'll use an entire pay check on gifts the day before Christmas and that would suck.
Following Christmas is New Year's, which I am planning on celebrating in style. I am thinking of grabbing some girl friends and going out of town this year...head to the mountains or the ocean or something like that. Fingers crossed!
Now I'm just getting ready for Halloween, which should be a lot of fun! I would be going to a Halloween party of some sort but I have never done that in all my years of "Halloweening" so I will stick with what I do every year: help out with the Halloween party at my church for the kids. I love dressing up but I don't have as much of a sweet tooth as I used to and I don't do a lot of drinking so I might as well load the kids up with bags and bags of candy. I'm also running a karaoke section and leading all the music for it, which will be a lot of fun. I just love karaoke. Especially when its Disney songs. Because I'm that much of a loser. I'm secretly hoping no kids show up so that I can just do the karaoke by myself and eat all of their candy. Especially the cotton candy. That will be fun.
And we're coming up towards December pretty soon! Which means its time for Christmas shopping. I've already had a head start on buying gifts, but that was over a month ago and I haven't bought anything since then. If I don't get going now, I'll use an entire pay check on gifts the day before Christmas and that would suck.
Following Christmas is New Year's, which I am planning on celebrating in style. I am thinking of grabbing some girl friends and going out of town this year...head to the mountains or the ocean or something like that. Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I Can Hear the Bells
Ahhhh yes, Christmas bells. Christmas is quickly approaching and for once in my life, I'm prepared ahead of time! I've already started buying the gifts. And listening to the music. Its pretty exciting.
What is not so is exciting is the fact that my jaw may be dislocated. It got stuck (TMJ stuff) and I went to the doctor because it was really really hurting, and left with some major medication, prescription for physio and an appointment for an x-ray. Its awesome. Nothing like being forced to eat soup until everything gets better.
Of course, when I'm on this medication, I can do anything. I'm not saying I'm going to go off and order a steak, but I AM going to go and have something that hasn't been anywhere near the proximity of a blender.
In other news, guess what I'm doing this weekend? If you guessed going out of town for some much needed relaxation time, you would be correct! Not really to anywhere exciting, just a few hours away, but that is more than enough! I need a break from all the crap that I'm dealing with right now. And the people. And the idiots.
Right on that note, how difficult is is to fulfill your commitments? I mean...you made them. No one forced you. No one said that you had no choice in the matter. You volunteered and suddenly, while you still want to be involved, you don't want to actually do any work for it. Seriously! I don't need 5 year olds working with me, I need some adults. That would be fantastic.
What is not so is exciting is the fact that my jaw may be dislocated. It got stuck (TMJ stuff) and I went to the doctor because it was really really hurting, and left with some major medication, prescription for physio and an appointment for an x-ray. Its awesome. Nothing like being forced to eat soup until everything gets better.
Of course, when I'm on this medication, I can do anything. I'm not saying I'm going to go off and order a steak, but I AM going to go and have something that hasn't been anywhere near the proximity of a blender.
In other news, guess what I'm doing this weekend? If you guessed going out of town for some much needed relaxation time, you would be correct! Not really to anywhere exciting, just a few hours away, but that is more than enough! I need a break from all the crap that I'm dealing with right now. And the people. And the idiots.
Right on that note, how difficult is is to fulfill your commitments? I mean...you made them. No one forced you. No one said that you had no choice in the matter. You volunteered and suddenly, while you still want to be involved, you don't want to actually do any work for it. Seriously! I don't need 5 year olds working with me, I need some adults. That would be fantastic.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
It's Getting Hot in Here
I've decided which song I want for my wedding. You know the song that everyone usually has when the bride first walks in? I wanna shake things up a bit. I'm thinking the song "It's Getting Hot in Here" by Nelly. Picture this...a solemn moment, bridesmaids have all passed by, my future husband waiting in anticipation...all of a sudden the doors open, and BOOM! Flashing lights, smoke, and "Hot in...so hot in here! So hot in...ah!!" Perfection.
And no, I'm not getting married. No prospects either. I just heard the song and decided its perfect. This goes right along with the post a while ago about the first dance as husband and wife being to the song "Think Before he Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. What a fantastic wedding that would be! Memorable at least. And thats what I want. Memories. Fun too! I think my parents and grandparents would die inside. But hey! We'd all laugh about it later.
And no, I'm not getting married. No prospects either. I just heard the song and decided its perfect. This goes right along with the post a while ago about the first dance as husband and wife being to the song "Think Before he Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. What a fantastic wedding that would be! Memorable at least. And thats what I want. Memories. Fun too! I think my parents and grandparents would die inside. But hey! We'd all laugh about it later.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Passing of Time
Well, my birthday is coming up soon and I'm pretty pumped! Well...by soon I mean 2 months from now...but the last few birthdays I have had have always been preceded by a really really crappy event. Which has put a damper on things. Everything looks clear this year though, so heres hoping! And you can get me a Brad Pitt for my birthday. That would be fantastic.
Thanksgiving weekend was great, hung out with friends for lunch and games on sunday, got the whole family together for a huge turkey dinner yesterday, I ate too much, have extras for work today. Hooray for left-overs!
One problem with large family get-togethers is the inevitable discussion of husbands. Which I don't have. Or boyfriends. Which I don't have. Or grandkids. Which I don't have. My sister now sort of has a possible guy that she can talk about so thankfully that took the discussion off of my lack of a significant other. How fantastic for me.
Aaaaaaand coming up at the end of this month I am going out of town for the weekend and it can't come soon enough! I've been wanting to go out of town for a while and it looks like now is the time. No where special, but I'm just happy to get out of this city for a while, get a breath of fresh air. And not literal fresh air, I'm going to another city. But mental fresh air. Bonus.
FYI - The new Nightwish cd is AMAZING.
*edit* I'm bored and feel like doing a survey...
TEN FIRSTS
1. first best friend: Jameson, Mandie and Victoria
2. first pet: A cat named Sweetey Petey
3. first piercing: Ears
4. first crush: Jameson
5. first cd: Oh good grief, I have no idea! It might have been the Carman cd...
6. first car: The one I'm still driving, a '92 Jeep Cherokee...
7. first stuffed animal: A huge stuffed sheep dog
8. first love: I am under the firm impression that I've never really been in love...I thought that I was once, and told a guy it another time because I felt bad that he kept telling me he loved me...I'm such a jerk...
9. first job: Movie theatre
10. first kiss: Matt
NINE LASTS
1. last alchoholic beverage: Vodka I believe...it was a loooong time ago though...
2. last car ride: To work today
3. last movie seen: Sydney White...which was awesome by the way!
4. last thing you ate: Left over thanksgiving dinner
5. last phone call: My mom
6. last person you IMd: Jordan I think
7. last song played: The Escapist - Nightwish
8. last bubble bath: A long time ago...i love them though!
9. last time you cried: Last sunday afternoon...
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. have you ever dated one of your best friends: Every time its been one of my best friends...I'm not really friends with any of them anymore, hehe...they all ended well.
2. have you ever been arrested?: Nope
3. have you ever skinny dipped: Not yet!
4. have you ever been on TV: I don't think so
5. have you ever kissed someone(s), and then regretted it? Yep
6. have you ever been in love: Refer to the question above about love...
7. have you ever had your heart broken: No, broken a few hearts though...which I'm not proud of...
8. have you ever given a hickey: Not that I know of, haha...
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1. Black dress pants
2. My "corset" blouse
3. Black shoes
4. My 2 rings
5. Uhh, how much more specific am I supposed to go here?
6. Black bra (no I'm not gothic by the way...that IS a lot of black though...my shirt is white with blue stripes, though the corset part is black...)
7. Underwear
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Had a shower
2. Gone to work
3. Eaten
4. Gone to Second Cup
5. Planned music sets
6. Listened to music
5 FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. Baklava
2. Witty banter
3. Books
4. Music (currently Nightwish)
5. Ireland
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO:
1. Katie
2. God (thank goodness!)
3. Davene
4. Heather
THREE CHOICES
1. black or white: black
2. hot or cold: hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Travel the world
2. Learn every type of dance (working on salsa, irish dancing, and soon learning swing dance...)
ONE THING YOU REGRET:
1. Nothing that I can think of...
Thanksgiving weekend was great, hung out with friends for lunch and games on sunday, got the whole family together for a huge turkey dinner yesterday, I ate too much, have extras for work today. Hooray for left-overs!
One problem with large family get-togethers is the inevitable discussion of husbands. Which I don't have. Or boyfriends. Which I don't have. Or grandkids. Which I don't have. My sister now sort of has a possible guy that she can talk about so thankfully that took the discussion off of my lack of a significant other. How fantastic for me.
Aaaaaaand coming up at the end of this month I am going out of town for the weekend and it can't come soon enough! I've been wanting to go out of town for a while and it looks like now is the time. No where special, but I'm just happy to get out of this city for a while, get a breath of fresh air. And not literal fresh air, I'm going to another city. But mental fresh air. Bonus.
FYI - The new Nightwish cd is AMAZING.
*edit* I'm bored and feel like doing a survey...
TEN FIRSTS
1. first best friend: Jameson, Mandie and Victoria
2. first pet: A cat named Sweetey Petey
3. first piercing: Ears
4. first crush: Jameson
5. first cd: Oh good grief, I have no idea! It might have been the Carman cd...
6. first car: The one I'm still driving, a '92 Jeep Cherokee...
7. first stuffed animal: A huge stuffed sheep dog
8. first love: I am under the firm impression that I've never really been in love...I thought that I was once, and told a guy it another time because I felt bad that he kept telling me he loved me...I'm such a jerk...
9. first job: Movie theatre
10. first kiss: Matt
NINE LASTS
1. last alchoholic beverage: Vodka I believe...it was a loooong time ago though...
2. last car ride: To work today
3. last movie seen: Sydney White...which was awesome by the way!
4. last thing you ate: Left over thanksgiving dinner
5. last phone call: My mom
6. last person you IMd: Jordan I think
7. last song played: The Escapist - Nightwish
8. last bubble bath: A long time ago...i love them though!
9. last time you cried: Last sunday afternoon...
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. have you ever dated one of your best friends: Every time its been one of my best friends...I'm not really friends with any of them anymore, hehe...they all ended well.
2. have you ever been arrested?: Nope
3. have you ever skinny dipped: Not yet!
4. have you ever been on TV: I don't think so
5. have you ever kissed someone(s), and then regretted it? Yep
6. have you ever been in love: Refer to the question above about love...
7. have you ever had your heart broken: No, broken a few hearts though...which I'm not proud of...
8. have you ever given a hickey: Not that I know of, haha...
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1. Black dress pants
2. My "corset" blouse
3. Black shoes
4. My 2 rings
5. Uhh, how much more specific am I supposed to go here?
6. Black bra (no I'm not gothic by the way...that IS a lot of black though...my shirt is white with blue stripes, though the corset part is black...)
7. Underwear
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Had a shower
2. Gone to work
3. Eaten
4. Gone to Second Cup
5. Planned music sets
6. Listened to music
5 FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. Baklava
2. Witty banter
3. Books
4. Music (currently Nightwish)
5. Ireland
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO:
1. Katie
2. God (thank goodness!)
3. Davene
4. Heather
THREE CHOICES
1. black or white: black
2. hot or cold: hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Travel the world
2. Learn every type of dance (working on salsa, irish dancing, and soon learning swing dance...)
ONE THING YOU REGRET:
1. Nothing that I can think of...
Monday, October 1, 2007
Keep Holding On
Well life has gone insane, its official! I am just incredibly busy. Its taking its toll on my health I think. I'm just constantly exhausted and have a constant head ache. It sucks. But thats okay! I'm getting a lot accomplished.
And I'm SO excited for one thing that I'm planning! A Christmas Masquerade Ball! I'm so pumped!!! We're talking black tie, Venetian masks, formal dresses, the works. I'm so excited. So I've been busy planning that.
Jared and I are officially fighting now, its fantastic. For the last few years we have had arguments about medication. He is very very anti-medication, I think that, while you shouldn't grab the nearest thing off the shelf if you aren't feeling chipper, medication is very useful sometimes. Two mutual friends have suffered from clinical depression for several years now, and he is constantly making them feel guilty for taking prescribed medication for it. I got sick and tired of it and told him that we have doctors for a reason. He got angry and told me to stop talking to him like he's an idiot. And now we aren't talking. Meh. If hes going to be an idiot, I'll talk to him like he's an idiot.
In other news, you all have to check out this website www.ObsessiontheMovie.com . Seriously. Most important movie of our time, quoting Glenn Beck. If you have a chance, at least watch the trailer for it. This has video footage, interviews, news articles, undercover journalists, etc. Its very accurate and covers what most people don't want to hear. This stuff is far closer to home than people realize and we need to wake up. **Just as an aside, I want to make it VERY clear that I don't think all muslims are violent, radical, extremists...the vast majority practice their religion in a peaceful manner, and many do not support the radicals. But there ARE extremists out there. There is coming a time in the near future where apathy will no longer be an option**
And I'm SO excited for one thing that I'm planning! A Christmas Masquerade Ball! I'm so pumped!!! We're talking black tie, Venetian masks, formal dresses, the works. I'm so excited. So I've been busy planning that.
Jared and I are officially fighting now, its fantastic. For the last few years we have had arguments about medication. He is very very anti-medication, I think that, while you shouldn't grab the nearest thing off the shelf if you aren't feeling chipper, medication is very useful sometimes. Two mutual friends have suffered from clinical depression for several years now, and he is constantly making them feel guilty for taking prescribed medication for it. I got sick and tired of it and told him that we have doctors for a reason. He got angry and told me to stop talking to him like he's an idiot. And now we aren't talking. Meh. If hes going to be an idiot, I'll talk to him like he's an idiot.
In other news, you all have to check out this website www.ObsessiontheMovie.com . Seriously. Most important movie of our time, quoting Glenn Beck. If you have a chance, at least watch the trailer for it. This has video footage, interviews, news articles, undercover journalists, etc. Its very accurate and covers what most people don't want to hear. This stuff is far closer to home than people realize and we need to wake up. **Just as an aside, I want to make it VERY clear that I don't think all muslims are violent, radical, extremists...the vast majority practice their religion in a peaceful manner, and many do not support the radicals. But there ARE extremists out there. There is coming a time in the near future where apathy will no longer be an option**
Friday, September 28, 2007
Oh The Places We Shall Go
So I am currently in the process of dreaming up two trips. One is perfectly planned, the other one is planned for me. The one I have planned is my dream trip to Ireland, where I have found the most AMAZING little place to stay in that looks like it came right out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. The second is a trip to Israel/Egypt which would already be planned for me, I just need to come up with the money for it. Both are looking like they will be absolutely amazing!!
In other news, I am now fiercely addicted to the Office. I have watched all seasons and episodes of the British version and am currently under the influence of the American version. Watched 8 episodes last night so I am a wee bit tired but thats okay because its worth it! Jim and Pam are so bloody cute. I love it.
I now have a car calendar hanging up in my cubicle, and have discovered my dream car. A 1993 McLaren F1 XP4. Seriously, check this thing out. Not only is it HOT on the outside, but it is apparently one of the only cars to ever be created with the steering wheel in the middle and two passenger seats on either side. I want it. Can I afford it? Nope. Will I buy it eventually anyways? Oh yeah baby.
In other news, I am now fiercely addicted to the Office. I have watched all seasons and episodes of the British version and am currently under the influence of the American version. Watched 8 episodes last night so I am a wee bit tired but thats okay because its worth it! Jim and Pam are so bloody cute. I love it.
I now have a car calendar hanging up in my cubicle, and have discovered my dream car. A 1993 McLaren F1 XP4. Seriously, check this thing out. Not only is it HOT on the outside, but it is apparently one of the only cars to ever be created with the steering wheel in the middle and two passenger seats on either side. I want it. Can I afford it? Nope. Will I buy it eventually anyways? Oh yeah baby.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Oh no he did not!
So all of my friends have OFFICIALLY gone crazy. Heres the situation.
So Taylor (refer to enjoyingthesinglelife.blogspot.com/2007/08/rules-for-dating-my-friends.html for a full description on who's who) is interested in Jareds sister, Emily. Which is fine except that she is still in school. And no, not college. High school. A little weird, but hey, weirder things have happened and its not like Taylor is 40. However, Taylor and Jared are best friends. Jared's parents have told Emily that she isn't allowed to date until shes 18. They're the typical Christian conservative parents. I don't disagree with the rule, I was given the same rule, I just happened to break it. A few times. Anyways. Taylor has said that he will wait until shes 18 to pursue anything. Then we find out that Emily is not quite as squeaky-clean as we all thought she was and she is the one pursuing him. Hardcore. And she isn't even sure that she likes him. I'm pretty sure she just wants to be rebellious. Either way, she is pursuing him and he is trying to obey the parents as well as retain his friendship with Jared. Not working so well because he is head-over-heels for her. So now they are just sneaking around behind everyones backs. Taylor seems to think that I must be okay with it because he tells me everything that is going on. Which puts a bit of a weight on my shoulders because on the one hand I don't want to go to Jared or Jared's parents and tell them what is going on, but I also think Taylors being an idiot. Jared found out that they have been sneaking around, put some tighter restrictions on Taylor. Taylor thinks Jared is being a jerk. I think they're both idiots. Keri tried to talk to Taylor about it, they got in a huge fight and now aren't speaking. I'm stuck in the middle. Its a blast.
Next, David and Keri. Now, they have been hanging out a LOT over the last several months. Keri has liked him for 2 years. And he has been giving the very strong impression to everyone that they were going out. So much so that people would bring it up to him and he would just smile, not admit or deny it. When I say he was giving the impression, I mean going to movies together, going to dinner together, talking for hours on the phone, he even bought them matching sweaters. THEN he tells her that they need to "talk" but that they "can't until the mood is right". Which, of course, if you are a girl you know is unbelievably cruel and unnatural. Two weeks later, after bringing it up a few more times but refusing to tell her anything, finally tells her. After being yelled at by several people. He tells her right before his huge suprise birthday party that she planned for him. Which, granted, he didn't know about. But still. Crappy timing. He tells her that he doesn't care about her in "that way" and that he didn't mean to give the impression that he was interested in her. So she calls me and shes crying (and she NEVER cries, I have never seen her cry) and asks if I can come and pick up the birthday gift that she got for him and bring it to the party because she isn't going to be able to make it.
So I already think hes a jerk. But hey, he made a mistake...for several months...but at least hes finally cleared the air. I hung out with her that night and she is starting to feel better, just needs some sleep...has a really great day the next day. Goes to work that night. And guess who shows up at work? If you guessed David, you'd be right! He shows up, and in front of her other co-worker who was there, brings it up again. Says the same things again. Then, when shes noticeably upset, tries to give her a hug and tell her to feel better. She pushes him away and hes offended because he just wanted to make her feel better.
Okay seriously? Guys? Its called a brain. Find it. Use it. Love it. So now shes upset all over again, heartbroken all over again. And I'm ready to cut off his balls and feed them to him. If I can find them.
So Taylor (refer to enjoyingthesinglelife.blogspot.com/2007/08/rules-for-dating-my-friends.html for a full description on who's who) is interested in Jareds sister, Emily. Which is fine except that she is still in school. And no, not college. High school. A little weird, but hey, weirder things have happened and its not like Taylor is 40. However, Taylor and Jared are best friends. Jared's parents have told Emily that she isn't allowed to date until shes 18. They're the typical Christian conservative parents. I don't disagree with the rule, I was given the same rule, I just happened to break it. A few times. Anyways. Taylor has said that he will wait until shes 18 to pursue anything. Then we find out that Emily is not quite as squeaky-clean as we all thought she was and she is the one pursuing him. Hardcore. And she isn't even sure that she likes him. I'm pretty sure she just wants to be rebellious. Either way, she is pursuing him and he is trying to obey the parents as well as retain his friendship with Jared. Not working so well because he is head-over-heels for her. So now they are just sneaking around behind everyones backs. Taylor seems to think that I must be okay with it because he tells me everything that is going on. Which puts a bit of a weight on my shoulders because on the one hand I don't want to go to Jared or Jared's parents and tell them what is going on, but I also think Taylors being an idiot. Jared found out that they have been sneaking around, put some tighter restrictions on Taylor. Taylor thinks Jared is being a jerk. I think they're both idiots. Keri tried to talk to Taylor about it, they got in a huge fight and now aren't speaking. I'm stuck in the middle. Its a blast.
Next, David and Keri. Now, they have been hanging out a LOT over the last several months. Keri has liked him for 2 years. And he has been giving the very strong impression to everyone that they were going out. So much so that people would bring it up to him and he would just smile, not admit or deny it. When I say he was giving the impression, I mean going to movies together, going to dinner together, talking for hours on the phone, he even bought them matching sweaters. THEN he tells her that they need to "talk" but that they "can't until the mood is right". Which, of course, if you are a girl you know is unbelievably cruel and unnatural. Two weeks later, after bringing it up a few more times but refusing to tell her anything, finally tells her. After being yelled at by several people. He tells her right before his huge suprise birthday party that she planned for him. Which, granted, he didn't know about. But still. Crappy timing. He tells her that he doesn't care about her in "that way" and that he didn't mean to give the impression that he was interested in her. So she calls me and shes crying (and she NEVER cries, I have never seen her cry) and asks if I can come and pick up the birthday gift that she got for him and bring it to the party because she isn't going to be able to make it.
So I already think hes a jerk. But hey, he made a mistake...for several months...but at least hes finally cleared the air. I hung out with her that night and she is starting to feel better, just needs some sleep...has a really great day the next day. Goes to work that night. And guess who shows up at work? If you guessed David, you'd be right! He shows up, and in front of her other co-worker who was there, brings it up again. Says the same things again. Then, when shes noticeably upset, tries to give her a hug and tell her to feel better. She pushes him away and hes offended because he just wanted to make her feel better.
Okay seriously? Guys? Its called a brain. Find it. Use it. Love it. So now shes upset all over again, heartbroken all over again. And I'm ready to cut off his balls and feed them to him. If I can find them.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wake Up Call
So I have had the song Wake Up Call by Maroon 5 stuck in my head for the last 2 days straight! I've decided that I want someone to cheat on me JUST so I can sing that song...and "Think Before he Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. Two very vengeful songs that I love to sing along to and wish I would have a reason to do them...well, not murder someone as in the Maroon 5 song...but it'd still be fun to sing.
MOVING RIGHT ALONG...I have been working on my friendships with girls in the last little while...booking up coffees, movies and dinners with them...I've actually really enjoyed it. I've never been able to be friends with girls in the past because I find it really hard to have fun with them in the same way that I have fun with guys. But it is SO much more fun to be single when you have other single girls to be single with...its not the same when you hang out with single guys. I only have one guy friend that I consider a completely platonic friendship...and hes awesome...but all the rest of them I've either liked in the past, they've liked me, or I'm attracted to them at least. Not so easy to hang out with them when they're single and you're single because...well, for obvious reasons. So single girls are fun.
Planning some get-away weekends as well. No idea when they are going to happen. But I'm planning them! And trying to find a day where I can go to the spa and just relax all day. I'm talking hair styles, manicures, pedicures, massages (I am intrigued by the hot stone massages...look like fun!), facials, etc. Might even try waxing. I've only ever waxed my legs and that was at home and HOLY it hurts. You get used to it after a while, but its not very effective at home. And they never seem to put enough supplies in the case! I don't have huge legs and they aren't all that long either, so I don't get it!
I really need to get back into martial arts...Christmas is coming and with it comes at least 2 Christmas parties that I am going to need to be dressed up in...one is a masquerade ball! Which is am SO excited about!
Overall, life is busy and exciting and I am having so much fun right now! I love it.
Oh, and the coffee with my sister and that other guy went fairly well apparently...he was late. Not a good sign. But apparently they got times mixed up, so its not technically his fault I guess. Oh well. All in all I'm over him...I am still attracted to him and find him absolutely hilarious, but hey, if he becomes a brother-in-law? Hes stuck with me forever anyways! Heheh. Win-win situation for me.
I'm such a loser.
Ciao
MOVING RIGHT ALONG...I have been working on my friendships with girls in the last little while...booking up coffees, movies and dinners with them...I've actually really enjoyed it. I've never been able to be friends with girls in the past because I find it really hard to have fun with them in the same way that I have fun with guys. But it is SO much more fun to be single when you have other single girls to be single with...its not the same when you hang out with single guys. I only have one guy friend that I consider a completely platonic friendship...and hes awesome...but all the rest of them I've either liked in the past, they've liked me, or I'm attracted to them at least. Not so easy to hang out with them when they're single and you're single because...well, for obvious reasons. So single girls are fun.
Planning some get-away weekends as well. No idea when they are going to happen. But I'm planning them! And trying to find a day where I can go to the spa and just relax all day. I'm talking hair styles, manicures, pedicures, massages (I am intrigued by the hot stone massages...look like fun!), facials, etc. Might even try waxing. I've only ever waxed my legs and that was at home and HOLY it hurts. You get used to it after a while, but its not very effective at home. And they never seem to put enough supplies in the case! I don't have huge legs and they aren't all that long either, so I don't get it!
I really need to get back into martial arts...Christmas is coming and with it comes at least 2 Christmas parties that I am going to need to be dressed up in...one is a masquerade ball! Which is am SO excited about!
Overall, life is busy and exciting and I am having so much fun right now! I love it.
Oh, and the coffee with my sister and that other guy went fairly well apparently...he was late. Not a good sign. But apparently they got times mixed up, so its not technically his fault I guess. Oh well. All in all I'm over him...I am still attracted to him and find him absolutely hilarious, but hey, if he becomes a brother-in-law? Hes stuck with me forever anyways! Heheh. Win-win situation for me.
I'm such a loser.
Ciao
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Captivating
So I'm in the process of reading a book called "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul" and have so far been extremely impressed by it...there was an interesting quote in it that I wanted to get some feedback on: "We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive."
Now when I first read that, all I could think was "Amen!!" but I thought I'd test that out...so while that describes my hearts desire to a tee, I thought I'd see what you guys thought...
Food for thought :)
Now when I first read that, all I could think was "Amen!!" but I thought I'd test that out...so while that describes my hearts desire to a tee, I thought I'd see what you guys thought...
Food for thought :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
9th Times a Charm
You know those little email forwards that you get that ask you all those questions and you have to write them down and you get the "interpretation" after? I just did one, and I don't buy them, but they're kinda fun. Anyways, it had all these questions about whether I'd prefer a dog, cat, or bird and would I rather have a wedding in a church or outdoors, stuff like that. Then it just said to pick a number between 1-10, so I threw a 9 out there. Got all the random answers at the bottom and it said that "the number you chose is the amount of times you'll fall in love before you get married". All I could think was "......well that sucks!"
Anyways, tonight is the infamous coffee night with my sister and whats-his-face, so we'll see how that goes. I think whatever happens I'm okay with it. I had a girl night with my best friend Keri where we watching Anastasia, A Cinderella Story and the Little Mermaid...and yes, we were crying in all of them because, lets face it, we're losers. Anyways, it got me thinking about when I was a little girl and I wanted to be a princess and have my prince charming come and all that. I really want to believe in love like that again...the sweeping off the feet, true love's first kiss, winning against all the odds, living happily ever after. Weren't those years beautiful? So I've decided that whether it is reality or not, I am going to choose to believe that love like that exists.
I believe that love is more than just fluttery feelings or a spark that will eventually fade out...and I hate seeing the divorce statistics rising year after year. I am going to wait for a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet when I least expect it, and until that happens I will continue to run this race of life...
And try and stop me!!
Anyways, tonight is the infamous coffee night with my sister and whats-his-face, so we'll see how that goes. I think whatever happens I'm okay with it. I had a girl night with my best friend Keri where we watching Anastasia, A Cinderella Story and the Little Mermaid...and yes, we were crying in all of them because, lets face it, we're losers. Anyways, it got me thinking about when I was a little girl and I wanted to be a princess and have my prince charming come and all that. I really want to believe in love like that again...the sweeping off the feet, true love's first kiss, winning against all the odds, living happily ever after. Weren't those years beautiful? So I've decided that whether it is reality or not, I am going to choose to believe that love like that exists.
I believe that love is more than just fluttery feelings or a spark that will eventually fade out...and I hate seeing the divorce statistics rising year after year. I am going to wait for a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet when I least expect it, and until that happens I will continue to run this race of life...
And try and stop me!!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Question for the Jury
Alright, I have a question for you guys. Do guys know when they are flirting? And I'm not talking the smooth-talking, sleazy sales kinda guys, I'm talking just the average, funny, normal guy. Do they realize it? I'm back to wondering about this guy that my sister likes (and who I may have some form of interest in as well. Possibly.) The thing is that he talks to the two of us very very differently. When he talks to her, he talks a lot...softer I guess is the best way of putting it. Which makes sense, she appears to be a much more gentle, soft person than I am (I say appears not in a mean way, I just happen to know that she isn't really like that at all, lol. Sweet girl, just has quite the temper on her). And when he talks to me, its a lot more flirtatious. He winks, stares more intensely and I never actually realized that guys bite their lips too. But he does. Anyways, two very very different ways of talking. So I was just wondering if guys realize when they are flirting. Because if he doesn't realize it, thats one thing. But if he does and he likes my sister, thats probably not a good thing. I enjoy it though, I have a lot of fun when we are talking. I was just wondering.
He asked her out for coffee. Which could mean one of several things. What you guys have to understand is that in our circle of friends and at our church, you are raised with a certain standard. That standard is that it is respectably required to ask the fathers permission before dating a girl. I know that he was raised that way so he knows that. So its not a date. I am thinking, and so is she, that it is more likely that it is probably a "getting to know you better thing". Either that, or she said that it might be a "I heard that you like me and I'm not interested" kind of talk. Which also would make sense, though I don't know that that would be it. In any case, he asked her. So I've been in a constant state of "stop thinking about it, moron!". And have come to the place where I'm going to accept things either way because if this is not the guy for me, there is an even more amazing guy out there somewhere. Which is an exciting thought :)
He asked her out for coffee. Which could mean one of several things. What you guys have to understand is that in our circle of friends and at our church, you are raised with a certain standard. That standard is that it is respectably required to ask the fathers permission before dating a girl. I know that he was raised that way so he knows that. So its not a date. I am thinking, and so is she, that it is more likely that it is probably a "getting to know you better thing". Either that, or she said that it might be a "I heard that you like me and I'm not interested" kind of talk. Which also would make sense, though I don't know that that would be it. In any case, he asked her. So I've been in a constant state of "stop thinking about it, moron!". And have come to the place where I'm going to accept things either way because if this is not the guy for me, there is an even more amazing guy out there somewhere. Which is an exciting thought :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
My Sharona
*envision My Sharona playing lightly in the background*
Aaaaaaaand, we're back! I have been having a great time the last couple of days...a bit of a rocky weekend, but I'm back on track now...allow me to share my not-so-fabulous weekend to start off with...long story short because I don't feel like thinking about it any longer, the sister-other guy thing was really bothering me to the point where I was almost crying...just the thought of them together was really hurting, as much as they are both amazing and probably deserve each other or someone like the other person...Jared was being a COMPLETE moron and I have had enough of it, so we're not really talking...and other people were pushing my buttons after they already realized that I was in a bad mood. FYI guys, BAD idea to point out over and over again what a bad mood I'm in when I'm in a bad mood. Mmkay? Shall we not? Plus I was insanely overtired which didn't help matters.
Monday morning I went on a short business trip to do other peoples' work for them (always a treat), but it actually was really really good. I got a TON of work done, AND went shopping. Got some amazing hand and body stuff which smells amazing and my hands are now excessively soft which is fantastic. And I bought, please don't laugh at me, I know I'm a nerd already, a DVD to teach you how to Irish Dance! I was pumped. It was in this cute little Irish store, and since I'm already in love with Ireland I decided to stop in. So I bought it and as soon as I got back from my trip last night I tried it out. And HOLY CRAP. You think Irish dancing is just jumping and kicking? Uh uh. Nope, its actually got technique to it, imagine that! Its insanely difficult and VERY different from salsa which I'm still learning. So much fun though, I love it!
And I've been doing an overhaul in my room...getting a new dresser and vanity which I'm pretty excited about...now I just need a new bed and I'll be set!
Then to top it all off, I bought some flowers for my grandma and stopped in at her house where she made me hot chocolate and cookies while telling me stories of when she was a kid. I LOVE that! It was a great night.
Anyways, I should return to work so I'll be back later!
Ciao
Aaaaaaaand, we're back! I have been having a great time the last couple of days...a bit of a rocky weekend, but I'm back on track now...allow me to share my not-so-fabulous weekend to start off with...long story short because I don't feel like thinking about it any longer, the sister-other guy thing was really bothering me to the point where I was almost crying...just the thought of them together was really hurting, as much as they are both amazing and probably deserve each other or someone like the other person...Jared was being a COMPLETE moron and I have had enough of it, so we're not really talking...and other people were pushing my buttons after they already realized that I was in a bad mood. FYI guys, BAD idea to point out over and over again what a bad mood I'm in when I'm in a bad mood. Mmkay? Shall we not? Plus I was insanely overtired which didn't help matters.
Monday morning I went on a short business trip to do other peoples' work for them (always a treat), but it actually was really really good. I got a TON of work done, AND went shopping. Got some amazing hand and body stuff which smells amazing and my hands are now excessively soft which is fantastic. And I bought, please don't laugh at me, I know I'm a nerd already, a DVD to teach you how to Irish Dance! I was pumped. It was in this cute little Irish store, and since I'm already in love with Ireland I decided to stop in. So I bought it and as soon as I got back from my trip last night I tried it out. And HOLY CRAP. You think Irish dancing is just jumping and kicking? Uh uh. Nope, its actually got technique to it, imagine that! Its insanely difficult and VERY different from salsa which I'm still learning. So much fun though, I love it!
And I've been doing an overhaul in my room...getting a new dresser and vanity which I'm pretty excited about...now I just need a new bed and I'll be set!
Then to top it all off, I bought some flowers for my grandma and stopped in at her house where she made me hot chocolate and cookies while telling me stories of when she was a kid. I LOVE that! It was a great night.
Anyways, I should return to work so I'll be back later!
Ciao
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Worlds Apart
My apologies for the last rant, I'm much better now :) I have a complete peace about my future, uncertain though it may be. I'm actually looking forward to the unknown future. The less I plan, the more flexibility I can have. I'm pretty excited!
I'm in the process of flipping through travel booklets so I can plan a nice vacation away. Excited about that too. And in the last month I have been able to cross of two things on my list of 100 things to do; climb a mountain and volunteer at a womens shelter. Its awesome! Only 98 things to go.
Life in general has been busy and good, I'm enjoying myself. Learning lots, experiencing lots, trying new things, meeting new people. Its a great time of my life and I am learning how to take advantage of that.
I'm in the process of flipping through travel booklets so I can plan a nice vacation away. Excited about that too. And in the last month I have been able to cross of two things on my list of 100 things to do; climb a mountain and volunteer at a womens shelter. Its awesome! Only 98 things to go.
Life in general has been busy and good, I'm enjoying myself. Learning lots, experiencing lots, trying new things, meeting new people. Its a great time of my life and I am learning how to take advantage of that.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
PMS Warning
Alright, so I know the title of this blog is "Enjoying the Single Life", but it would be SO much easier to enjoy the single life if I didn't dream about not being single or watch chick flicks or have all of my other friends hooking up or having an amazing yet untouchable guy in my life. Let me explain.
A couple nights back I had an amazingly vivid dream of being in a relationship. Nothing all that intense happened, but I remember what he looked like and how he talked and things he said to me, and he was just so sweet and I felt so incandescently happy in my dream. It was awesome, but made me realize that although I enjoy the independence of single-ness, I would love to have a significant other that I could hold hands with and talk to and love and have them love me. I really really want that.
Chick flicks are self explanatory.
My past blogs have explained the "everyone has a significant other but me".
And the un-touchable guy in my life? I got to know him a lot better this past weekend. We spent a lot of time together. He is hilarious, we can talk so easily and we tease each other and banter back and forth, and it is so much fun. However, as I have said before, my sister likes him. BIG problem. And other people think it would be such a sweet match. I know because I hear it CONSTANTLY. I have people even asking me if I could help them out and lead them into conversations, etc. because I can talk to him. Not only that, but until my ex, Jared, gets a girlfriend, I will have no peace in any relationship I have. Especially with my mom. Because for SOME ODD REASON, no matter how many times she tells me that he deserves better, she still insists that I care about him and am just too stubborn to admit it...hes been acting like a jerk lately though, so even if I did care about him as anything more as a brother, he needs to grow up. Its really irritating.
Because of my on and off relationship with him for the past few years though, everyone just assumes that regardless of the fact that I called things off with him, we are still in a relationship therefore no one can "go for me" or "go for him". If he gets a girlfriend first though, that will be the final nail in the coffin and everyone will get off my back. And realize that I actually am single. Until that happens, I can't have a relationship with any sort of peace.
And besides, some people have mentioned that they think that this guy might possibly maybe have a slight interest in my sister. No one actually has any idea whatsoever. But it still hurts every time I hear it. I think my problem is that I have never really been in a situation where I have cared about a guy that I seriously truly can't have without destroying almost all of the relationships that I have in my life or who may be interested in my sister.
Could you imagine if the two of them got together though? I don't know what I would do.
A couple nights back I had an amazingly vivid dream of being in a relationship. Nothing all that intense happened, but I remember what he looked like and how he talked and things he said to me, and he was just so sweet and I felt so incandescently happy in my dream. It was awesome, but made me realize that although I enjoy the independence of single-ness, I would love to have a significant other that I could hold hands with and talk to and love and have them love me. I really really want that.
Chick flicks are self explanatory.
My past blogs have explained the "everyone has a significant other but me".
And the un-touchable guy in my life? I got to know him a lot better this past weekend. We spent a lot of time together. He is hilarious, we can talk so easily and we tease each other and banter back and forth, and it is so much fun. However, as I have said before, my sister likes him. BIG problem. And other people think it would be such a sweet match. I know because I hear it CONSTANTLY. I have people even asking me if I could help them out and lead them into conversations, etc. because I can talk to him. Not only that, but until my ex, Jared, gets a girlfriend, I will have no peace in any relationship I have. Especially with my mom. Because for SOME ODD REASON, no matter how many times she tells me that he deserves better, she still insists that I care about him and am just too stubborn to admit it...hes been acting like a jerk lately though, so even if I did care about him as anything more as a brother, he needs to grow up. Its really irritating.
Because of my on and off relationship with him for the past few years though, everyone just assumes that regardless of the fact that I called things off with him, we are still in a relationship therefore no one can "go for me" or "go for him". If he gets a girlfriend first though, that will be the final nail in the coffin and everyone will get off my back. And realize that I actually am single. Until that happens, I can't have a relationship with any sort of peace.
And besides, some people have mentioned that they think that this guy might possibly maybe have a slight interest in my sister. No one actually has any idea whatsoever. But it still hurts every time I hear it. I think my problem is that I have never really been in a situation where I have cared about a guy that I seriously truly can't have without destroying almost all of the relationships that I have in my life or who may be interested in my sister.
Could you imagine if the two of them got together though? I don't know what I would do.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Adding to the Noise
I am trying to keep politics out of this blog, but I have to speak up about something. I don't know if any of you know a guy named Glenn Beck. He has a radio show and a tv program. And is, in my opinion, on of the only guys in the media who has his head on straight. Thats all a matter of opinion though. However, if you look at his website, he has a section on hate mail. This is where he posts all of the emails and letters he receives with people spewing their insults and hatred for him. There seems to be one common theme in these. That would be liberals/democrats talking about how much they hate him, calling him racist, a pig, ugly, un-american, hatemongerer, etc. Now, question. How is it possible for these people to send these angry emails spewing their hatred, and accuse him of being a hatemongerer? Isn't that...isn't that what they are?
The funny thing is that their letters have no substance to them. Its like a 4th grade girls fight. "You're ugly, I hate you, why don't you shut up, you're fat, you're stupid", just with a whole lot of swearing involved. It is unbelievable. It wouldn't be so easy to make fun of democrats if they actually had something to back themselves up with. We disagree. Thats okay. You tell me its okay that you don't agree with me, but heaven forbid I disagree with you! How un-American it is to disagree! Oh wait. But...if we all were forced to agree on the same thing wouldn't that be...kinda like communism? And wait, isn't that something that we have all agreed is a bad thing?
Well geeze, now I'm just confused. So you are telling me that we are all different, all diverse and that is what makes human nature so beautiful and unique. Until you are a republican. Unless you are a white Christian. Wait, you don't agree with homosexuality or abortion? Go die a slow and painful death warmongering spawn of Satan!
I'm not trying to offend anyone with this, I just want to be able to have ONE normal conversation with someone who disagrees with me without it becoming a childish insult match. But I haven't been able to yet. Conservatives can disagree with each other and have a normal, calm debate about it. Bring a liberal into the picture? All hell breaks loose. I just don't get it.
Since when did differing opinions become such a bad thing? I disagree with you, you disagree with me. You know what? Thats okay! You don't need to force me to agree with you, just like I won't force you to agree with me. But can't we just talk about it like normal human beings?
The worst part is that no one really realizes it is happening. Take Islam. You should all read the book called Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She grew up in an Islamic family, and the stories you will read about that she went through! Beatings, female mutilation, rape, murder. Its horrible! The thing that she states to everyone is that people need to start opening their eyes and stop saying that Islam is a peace-loving religion. Americanized Islam? They are very peaceful, loving, kind people. But true Islam at its core? All you have to do is read passages in the Qu'ran. Thats why September 11th happened. Why do you think these people thought that they were serving God? Because they were just doing what God/Mohammed commanded them to do. And I'm tired of everyone arguing about that. Read the Qu'ran for yourself! People need to stop buying every word that is told them and start thinking for themselves. And people also need to stop pretending like it doesn't matter. These issues are important. Religion, evolution, climate change, abortion. These issues are important and people don't care enough to find things out for themselves, so they go with the flow. Its extremely frustrating!
*deep breath*
And now back to our regular broadcasting.
The funny thing is that their letters have no substance to them. Its like a 4th grade girls fight. "You're ugly, I hate you, why don't you shut up, you're fat, you're stupid", just with a whole lot of swearing involved. It is unbelievable. It wouldn't be so easy to make fun of democrats if they actually had something to back themselves up with. We disagree. Thats okay. You tell me its okay that you don't agree with me, but heaven forbid I disagree with you! How un-American it is to disagree! Oh wait. But...if we all were forced to agree on the same thing wouldn't that be...kinda like communism? And wait, isn't that something that we have all agreed is a bad thing?
Well geeze, now I'm just confused. So you are telling me that we are all different, all diverse and that is what makes human nature so beautiful and unique. Until you are a republican. Unless you are a white Christian. Wait, you don't agree with homosexuality or abortion? Go die a slow and painful death warmongering spawn of Satan!
I'm not trying to offend anyone with this, I just want to be able to have ONE normal conversation with someone who disagrees with me without it becoming a childish insult match. But I haven't been able to yet. Conservatives can disagree with each other and have a normal, calm debate about it. Bring a liberal into the picture? All hell breaks loose. I just don't get it.
Since when did differing opinions become such a bad thing? I disagree with you, you disagree with me. You know what? Thats okay! You don't need to force me to agree with you, just like I won't force you to agree with me. But can't we just talk about it like normal human beings?
The worst part is that no one really realizes it is happening. Take Islam. You should all read the book called Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She grew up in an Islamic family, and the stories you will read about that she went through! Beatings, female mutilation, rape, murder. Its horrible! The thing that she states to everyone is that people need to start opening their eyes and stop saying that Islam is a peace-loving religion. Americanized Islam? They are very peaceful, loving, kind people. But true Islam at its core? All you have to do is read passages in the Qu'ran. Thats why September 11th happened. Why do you think these people thought that they were serving God? Because they were just doing what God/Mohammed commanded them to do. And I'm tired of everyone arguing about that. Read the Qu'ran for yourself! People need to stop buying every word that is told them and start thinking for themselves. And people also need to stop pretending like it doesn't matter. These issues are important. Religion, evolution, climate change, abortion. These issues are important and people don't care enough to find things out for themselves, so they go with the flow. Its extremely frustrating!
*deep breath*
And now back to our regular broadcasting.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Rules for Dating my Friends
Thats it, no one else close to me is allowed to get in a relationship! Okay, I'm exaggerating, they can, I just won't be happy about it! Within the last week 2 more people have gotten into relationships and no more! Its not even spring so I can't blame Spring Fever. The worst is that my close group of friends was a group of five...now two of them are a couple and the other guy is now interested Jareds sister, so that leaves Jared and I. For those who forget, Jared is the guy who I have had an on and off friendship, now officially and finally off, for the last several years. So that unfortunately just leaves me and him and it feels either like we SHOULD be a couple or like we're a fifth wheel, even though theres two of us. He wants a relationship still, I don't, so I have to put some space between us.
Now the new couples are off doing couple-y things, including the ever irritating ditching every other person so that they can spend every waking moment with their significant other. Do I sound bitter??? Maybe I just don't like changes. Slow, gradual changes are cool. But this was like a freight train! But before things get all crazy in my head and I start ranting, allow me to describe my group of friends.
Jared - known him for about 10 years now, really good friend of mine. Have had an on and off relationship over the last few years that I finally put an end to which was a relief. Hes a fairly attractive guy, a gentleman, football player, handy around the house, all that. Basically any other girls dream. But its just not right for me. Its one of those "its not you, its me" kind of things.
David - known him for about 7 years, awesome guy, and hes huge! Hes a football player as well and definitely fits the role. Really sweet, has his quirks but nice enough. A ladies man. One of my best guy friends. Going out with Keri.
Taylor - just met him about 3 years ago, friend from high school. Very funny guy, lots of fun. Only just recently got closer to him, interested in Jareds sister.
Keri - one of my closest friends, just met her 3 years ago. She was very different then, into drugs, always in the wrong relationships. Started coming to my church and completely changed. Shes amazing. Very sarcastic and cynical, a typical anti-cheerleader kinda girl, I love her. Has liked David for about 2 years now, now hes finally returning the interested, I love it! Its about time.
And then theres me. So thats our group. We all went to the same high school. All did everything together. We were really close. And then the relationships started coming in. The group has split a bit. Keri and David are always off together. Taylor will only hang out with any of us if Jareds sister is there, and even so they will usually vouch to go off and do their own thing. Which leaves Jared and I. Now that we know the history of Jared, we can see why that might be a bit awkward. Needless to say either Jared needs to find a girlfriend soon or everyone else needs to knock it off and quit doing the "puppy-love, couples-only" crap.
Maybe its just PMS.
Now the new couples are off doing couple-y things, including the ever irritating ditching every other person so that they can spend every waking moment with their significant other. Do I sound bitter??? Maybe I just don't like changes. Slow, gradual changes are cool. But this was like a freight train! But before things get all crazy in my head and I start ranting, allow me to describe my group of friends.
Jared - known him for about 10 years now, really good friend of mine. Have had an on and off relationship over the last few years that I finally put an end to which was a relief. Hes a fairly attractive guy, a gentleman, football player, handy around the house, all that. Basically any other girls dream. But its just not right for me. Its one of those "its not you, its me" kind of things.
David - known him for about 7 years, awesome guy, and hes huge! Hes a football player as well and definitely fits the role. Really sweet, has his quirks but nice enough. A ladies man. One of my best guy friends. Going out with Keri.
Taylor - just met him about 3 years ago, friend from high school. Very funny guy, lots of fun. Only just recently got closer to him, interested in Jareds sister.
Keri - one of my closest friends, just met her 3 years ago. She was very different then, into drugs, always in the wrong relationships. Started coming to my church and completely changed. Shes amazing. Very sarcastic and cynical, a typical anti-cheerleader kinda girl, I love her. Has liked David for about 2 years now, now hes finally returning the interested, I love it! Its about time.
And then theres me. So thats our group. We all went to the same high school. All did everything together. We were really close. And then the relationships started coming in. The group has split a bit. Keri and David are always off together. Taylor will only hang out with any of us if Jareds sister is there, and even so they will usually vouch to go off and do their own thing. Which leaves Jared and I. Now that we know the history of Jared, we can see why that might be a bit awkward. Needless to say either Jared needs to find a girlfriend soon or everyone else needs to knock it off and quit doing the "puppy-love, couples-only" crap.
Friday, August 17, 2007
All By Myself, Don't Wanna Be All By Myself
Oh yes, I did use a Celine Dion song as a title. Sue me.
So as of...yesterday, 4 more of my friends are in relationships. Just like that. Boom. All in one day. I'm thrilled. I actually am thrilled for them, I got all giddy for them, I'm happy for them, but there is NOTHING like being one of the only single ones left in the group. Feels great. So there I am, all happy and giddy for them, planning their weddings already (I'm a loser, sue me.) and I'm going to end up as the old spinster lady with cats and a baseball bat that I wave at kids who come within 20 feet of my house. Okay, so I'm MAYBE being a little bit overdramatic. The thing is that there are only so many decent eligible guys in my acquaintance at the moment. And most of them are liked by people who are close to me. I've ruined enough friendships that way in the past, so I'm trying to avoid the guys who are already taken (even if they aren't aware that they are taken yet.)
I have a head start already. I have a cat. And shes black. I call her my baby. And I want another one. Even though I hate cats. I really do hate cats. But I want another one. Am I a freak? Or just lonely? *sigh*
I actually am enjoying just planning my friends' futures for them. It just reminds me that I am still attracted to guys and do still want a relationship. Eventually.
So as of...yesterday, 4 more of my friends are in relationships. Just like that. Boom. All in one day. I'm thrilled. I actually am thrilled for them, I got all giddy for them, I'm happy for them, but there is NOTHING like being one of the only single ones left in the group. Feels great. So there I am, all happy and giddy for them, planning their weddings already (I'm a loser, sue me.) and I'm going to end up as the old spinster lady with cats and a baseball bat that I wave at kids who come within 20 feet of my house. Okay, so I'm MAYBE being a little bit overdramatic. The thing is that there are only so many decent eligible guys in my acquaintance at the moment. And most of them are liked by people who are close to me. I've ruined enough friendships that way in the past, so I'm trying to avoid the guys who are already taken (even if they aren't aware that they are taken yet.)
I have a head start already. I have a cat. And shes black. I call her my baby. And I want another one. Even though I hate cats. I really do hate cats. But I want another one. Am I a freak? Or just lonely? *sigh*
I actually am enjoying just planning my friends' futures for them. It just reminds me that I am still attracted to guys and do still want a relationship. Eventually.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Too Early for Clever Titles
Well it is a FABULOUS day today, is it not? Sun is shining, birds are singing. Actually thats not true at all. Its kind of gray outside and I'm pretty sure all the smart birds have migrated already. Thats okay. Its still a great day.
Had my second salsa class last night which was SO much fun! Seriously though, watch out for latin boys. They're trouble. Good-looking trouble. Really really good-loo...I digress. My mom just got back from her weekend away and in hopes of starting things off well, I bought her flowers. Yes, I'm a suck-up. But hey, if it works, why not? I was in too much of a good mood to fight about petty things yesterday. And it worked. I was impressed. It was nice to see my brother again too, I don't get to see him much these days. By the way, hes 7. And hes awesome. Why the large age gap? Well you see, when I was 3 and my sister was about 5, my parents got divorced. They were apart for about 5 years, and man those were some fun years. Lots of screaming, fighting, tears, it was a good time.
Then my nana (grandma) got lung cancer, and they didn't expect her to live. They even did surgery but because they thought there was no chance that she would live, they did a crappy job. Leaving her with 2/3 of one lung left. Anyways, nothing they did could make her get better. Finally my dad started praying and completely turned his life around. The moment he did, my nana was completely better. Which some people would call amazing, I call it a miracle. Anyways, after that my parents started dating each other again and eventually got married again, and had my brother. Its pretty cool actually :)
Anyways, I've got a ton of work to do so I'm going to head off!
Cheers
Had my second salsa class last night which was SO much fun! Seriously though, watch out for latin boys. They're trouble. Good-looking trouble. Really really good-loo...I digress. My mom just got back from her weekend away and in hopes of starting things off well, I bought her flowers. Yes, I'm a suck-up. But hey, if it works, why not? I was in too much of a good mood to fight about petty things yesterday. And it worked. I was impressed. It was nice to see my brother again too, I don't get to see him much these days. By the way, hes 7. And hes awesome. Why the large age gap? Well you see, when I was 3 and my sister was about 5, my parents got divorced. They were apart for about 5 years, and man those were some fun years. Lots of screaming, fighting, tears, it was a good time.
Then my nana (grandma) got lung cancer, and they didn't expect her to live. They even did surgery but because they thought there was no chance that she would live, they did a crappy job. Leaving her with 2/3 of one lung left. Anyways, nothing they did could make her get better. Finally my dad started praying and completely turned his life around. The moment he did, my nana was completely better. Which some people would call amazing, I call it a miracle. Anyways, after that my parents started dating each other again and eventually got married again, and had my brother. Its pretty cool actually :)
Anyways, I've got a ton of work to do so I'm going to head off!
Cheers
Monday, August 13, 2007
Mr. More than That
I had a lovely weekend! Went boating and relaxing on saturday, then went spontaneously mountain climbing with a friend of mine. We had originally planned on just a hike, but we saw a mountain and said "hey, why not!". It was so good! I felt so energized after that. Course, my legs and hands are all cut up and my body is hating me today, but it was awesome!
Well I said I would talk about this other friend who used to be more than a friend at some point. I'll go into that now. I've known him for about 10 years or so. Hes an awesome guy, lots of fun, as I said before a really respectable and respectful gentleman. Anyways, for the last probably 6 years, we've had a relationship on and off. We would get close, and then he would get too close, and it appears that I'm commitment-phobic or something, because as soon as it got too close, I would run away.
This last time I was actually ready for a commitment, but he just did a few things that to anybody else would be completely innocent, but in my past relationships there have been a few guys who refuse to listen to the word "no", and will push it and push it and bug me about it that I would either give in or they would do it anyways. So I'm really sensitive about things like that. So this guy, and I should probably give him a name so I can start sorting between "this guy" and "this other guy" and "this one other guy". Lets call him Jared.
So anyways, Jared would push physical things, and not like sex or anything, just innocent things like holding hands and kissing, but I had a really really bad experience just a few months ago, and those feelings are still really raw. So it freaked me out and we slowly started drifting away. We still hang out all the time and hes like a brother to me. I don't hold it against him because he knows nothing about what has happened in my past and they were completely innocent things. It really bothers me that I reacted the way that I did, but I can't control that. I'm working on it. So we still hang out as friends, and we had the "I just want to be friends" talk which made things awkward for a while. Which is why I am enjoying the single life. Hence the title :) I felt a lot of freedom after talking with him.
The biggest problem is that EVERYONE for the last few years has talked about how we would be perfect for each other and talking about the wedding, etc. My mom loves him like hes her own son, and sometimes seems to care more about how he is feeling than how I am feeling. Hes also a lot nicer than I am and she uses that on me a lot. Kinda sucks when I hear that "he deserves someone better". Meh. The right guy will come along, I'm just hoping he'll hold off for a little while longer :)
I was listening to "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Michael Buble yesterday and I'm pretty sure that it describes me completely.
This thing called love, well I just can't handle it
This thing called love, I must get around to it
I ain't ready, crazy little thing called love
Anyways, back to the grind!
Well I said I would talk about this other friend who used to be more than a friend at some point. I'll go into that now. I've known him for about 10 years or so. Hes an awesome guy, lots of fun, as I said before a really respectable and respectful gentleman. Anyways, for the last probably 6 years, we've had a relationship on and off. We would get close, and then he would get too close, and it appears that I'm commitment-phobic or something, because as soon as it got too close, I would run away.
This last time I was actually ready for a commitment, but he just did a few things that to anybody else would be completely innocent, but in my past relationships there have been a few guys who refuse to listen to the word "no", and will push it and push it and bug me about it that I would either give in or they would do it anyways. So I'm really sensitive about things like that. So this guy, and I should probably give him a name so I can start sorting between "this guy" and "this other guy" and "this one other guy". Lets call him Jared.
So anyways, Jared would push physical things, and not like sex or anything, just innocent things like holding hands and kissing, but I had a really really bad experience just a few months ago, and those feelings are still really raw. So it freaked me out and we slowly started drifting away. We still hang out all the time and hes like a brother to me. I don't hold it against him because he knows nothing about what has happened in my past and they were completely innocent things. It really bothers me that I reacted the way that I did, but I can't control that. I'm working on it. So we still hang out as friends, and we had the "I just want to be friends" talk which made things awkward for a while. Which is why I am enjoying the single life. Hence the title :) I felt a lot of freedom after talking with him.
The biggest problem is that EVERYONE for the last few years has talked about how we would be perfect for each other and talking about the wedding, etc. My mom loves him like hes her own son, and sometimes seems to care more about how he is feeling than how I am feeling. Hes also a lot nicer than I am and she uses that on me a lot. Kinda sucks when I hear that "he deserves someone better". Meh. The right guy will come along, I'm just hoping he'll hold off for a little while longer :)
I was listening to "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Michael Buble yesterday and I'm pretty sure that it describes me completely.
This thing called love, well I just can't handle it
This thing called love, I must get around to it
I ain't ready, crazy little thing called love
Anyways, back to the grind!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Close Call
Just got back from watching Rush Hour 3 with two of my best guy friends (one used to be a bit more than that, but I'll get into that at a later date). Before I continue, let me just say that Rush Hour 3 is HILARIOUS. Go see it. Like. Now.
Anyways, on a more serious note, these two guys almost died today in a car crash. And its about the 3rd time in the last month that either one or both of them nearly died in a car accident. In all cases they should have at least been in the hospital, yet all times they have come out without a scratch. Now, most people would say that they are lucky. I have a different point of view which is probably contraversial. I believe that they have been kept alive by the grace of God. They are both absolutely incredible young men, love God with all their hearts, and also happen to be among the large minority of guys who still believe that chivalry is not dead. That alone makes them stand out. Its very scary though, I care about them both a ton and I'm just about ready to take their keys away from them, lol. All I can say is that God has quite the plan for their lives because theres gotta be some reason why they are alive, because they certainly aren't doing anything to keep themselves that way, haha.
Listening to Apologize by One Republic...depressing but I can definitely relate to it...question for y'all, is it possible for it to ever be "too late" for anything? "It's too late to apologize, its too late". Is that possible? I can relate to the feeling of being tired of excuses and tired of getting screwed over and lied to. And I've wanted to not accept apologies before. But I have found that not accepting apologies just allows them to build up into a bitterness inside of me. Until I can forgive and "forget" (as much as one can forget), I am unable to let go.
Hmm, food for thought. Off to bed.
Anyways, on a more serious note, these two guys almost died today in a car crash. And its about the 3rd time in the last month that either one or both of them nearly died in a car accident. In all cases they should have at least been in the hospital, yet all times they have come out without a scratch. Now, most people would say that they are lucky. I have a different point of view which is probably contraversial. I believe that they have been kept alive by the grace of God. They are both absolutely incredible young men, love God with all their hearts, and also happen to be among the large minority of guys who still believe that chivalry is not dead. That alone makes them stand out. Its very scary though, I care about them both a ton and I'm just about ready to take their keys away from them, lol. All I can say is that God has quite the plan for their lives because theres gotta be some reason why they are alive, because they certainly aren't doing anything to keep themselves that way, haha.
Listening to Apologize by One Republic...depressing but I can definitely relate to it...question for y'all, is it possible for it to ever be "too late" for anything? "It's too late to apologize, its too late". Is that possible? I can relate to the feeling of being tired of excuses and tired of getting screwed over and lied to. And I've wanted to not accept apologies before. But I have found that not accepting apologies just allows them to build up into a bitterness inside of me. Until I can forgive and "forget" (as much as one can forget), I am unable to let go.
Hmm, food for thought. Off to bed.
Bring on the Coffee
Ugh, so I can tell that its going to be a crappy day.
Woke up late this morning and it was freezing in my house, went upstairs to take a shower and all the hot water had been used already. My ride couldn't find the keys to her car which caused us to be even later. The train left just as we got to the station. Tripped over a grate on the sidewalk. Got to the office, missed both elevators that were going up. (As a side note, the elevators in our building are demon-possessed, I swear. I walked to the one that said it was going up and it closed in my face. Same thing happened with the next one). Got into work and I have a huge pile of invoicing issues that I need to fix which will take a long time to fix because someone else screwed up their job. I love fixing other peoples mistakes.
And I am so tired of fighting with my mom! When we get along, we are really close. But when she is in a "mood", she is impossible to deal with! Nothing I do is right. Of course I happen to have an older sister who is perfect. Who I constantly get compared to. Usually I can just brush it off but yesterday was unbelievable!
And I'm really really sick of her and my older sister needing to know how much money I have, what I'm spending my money on, whether I really think that I need to spend it on this or that, etc. Seriously, I'm an adult! I know that I'm really bad at spending my money right away, but I'm also really good at saving it. And having a social life tends to cost a little bit of money. UGH.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to the weekend...going out of town to relax at a lake. Or depending on the weather, relaxing by a pool. At the moment everything is dark and grey and its raining.
Its going to be a fantastic day.
Woke up late this morning and it was freezing in my house, went upstairs to take a shower and all the hot water had been used already. My ride couldn't find the keys to her car which caused us to be even later. The train left just as we got to the station. Tripped over a grate on the sidewalk. Got to the office, missed both elevators that were going up. (As a side note, the elevators in our building are demon-possessed, I swear. I walked to the one that said it was going up and it closed in my face. Same thing happened with the next one). Got into work and I have a huge pile of invoicing issues that I need to fix which will take a long time to fix because someone else screwed up their job. I love fixing other peoples mistakes.
And I am so tired of fighting with my mom! When we get along, we are really close. But when she is in a "mood", she is impossible to deal with! Nothing I do is right. Of course I happen to have an older sister who is perfect. Who I constantly get compared to. Usually I can just brush it off but yesterday was unbelievable!
And I'm really really sick of her and my older sister needing to know how much money I have, what I'm spending my money on, whether I really think that I need to spend it on this or that, etc. Seriously, I'm an adult! I know that I'm really bad at spending my money right away, but I'm also really good at saving it. And having a social life tends to cost a little bit of money. UGH.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to the weekend...going out of town to relax at a lake. Or depending on the weather, relaxing by a pool. At the moment everything is dark and grey and its raining.
Its going to be a fantastic day.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
The Salsa
Alright, so my first salsa class was, in a word, AMAZING!! I had so much fun! I was worried because I was going by myself and I have never gone to a dance class before, but it was so relaxed and just fun! We learned the basic steps and then the other girl danced with the instructor and I danced with his assistant, and he was such a good leader! I was impressed. Anyways, it was fun and I am definitely looking forward to the next class.
Trying to keep myself focused still. Guy from my church who is absolutely amazing, hes respectful, chivalrous, loves kids and also happens to be attractive and in pretty good shape too. Hes hilarious and really easy to talk to. Problem? My sister likes him. Along with pretty much every other girl who has ever met him. Second problem? I'm staying single. So I've decided that its a bad idea. Hes a lot of fun to hang out with though. I just need to stay focused.
Possibly going dancing tonight with a friend of mine, I'm excited!!
Trying to keep myself focused still. Guy from my church who is absolutely amazing, hes respectful, chivalrous, loves kids and also happens to be attractive and in pretty good shape too. Hes hilarious and really easy to talk to. Problem? My sister likes him. Along with pretty much every other girl who has ever met him. Second problem? I'm staying single. So I've decided that its a bad idea. Hes a lot of fun to hang out with though. I just need to stay focused.
Possibly going dancing tonight with a friend of mine, I'm excited!!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
100 Things to Do Before I Die
Well I FINALLY finished up my list of 100 things to do before I die! I tell ya, its harder than you think! And here it is, in all its glory:
1. Go to Ireland
2. Go to Italy
3. Go to Israel
4. Go to Greece
5. Go to Scotland
6. Learn Greek
7. Learn Hebrew
8. Learn Gaelic
9. Go skydiving
10. Learn how to surf
11. Cook Thanksgiving dinner
12. Read every C.S. Lewis book
13. Buy my own place
14. Go white water rafting
15. Master roller-blading (I suck at it!! Its brutal...)
16. Learn how to say no - forcefully
17. Learn to play the drums
18. Learn the violin
19. Learn to play the bass
20. Read all the Lord of the Rings books
21. Go scuba diving
22. Bungee-jumping / Bridge-jumping
23. Write a song in spanish
24. Learn to make jewellry
25. Learn to crochet properly
26. Take a child psychology course
27. Go shopping in New York City
28. Learn to ride a motorcycle
29. Buy a motorcycle
30. Sing in a musical
31. Organize a childrens choir
32. Learn to speak Zulu
33. See the Gaithers in concert
34. Get a ferret
35. Join a lacrosse/rugby team
36. Learn how to salsa properly
37. Learn how to waltz
38. Learn how to tango
39. Compose a song piece
40. Enjoy a full day at the spa
41. Go on a spontaneous road trip
42. Grow a flower garden
43. Translate the Bible into a different language
44. Take swimming lessons
45. Swim with dolphins
46. Own a vineyard
47. Ride on an air balloon
48. Take an aromatherapy course
49. Get acupuncture
50. Get back in shape and stay in shape
51. Learn how to make creme brulee
52. Climb a mountain
53. Be broken up with
54. Try on wedding dresses for fun
55. Smoke a cigar
56. Go skinny dipping
57. Learn how to fix a car
58. Read the Qu'ran
59. Read the book of Mormon
60. Build a computer
61. Learn how to sail a boat
62. Go on a spontaneous vacation by myself
62. Learn how to paint
63. Take a photography course
64. Take a pottery course
65. Engage in a large food fight
66. Visit Machu Picchu
67. Explore the Egyptian pyramids
68. Travel to Easter Island
69. Visit the Stone Henge
70. Learn how to fly a plane
71. Try every culture of food
72. Surprise someone
73. Write a book
74. Go to Cirque du Soleil
75. Get my boating license
76. Volunteer at a Senior's Home
77. Volunteer at a drop-in center
78. See London's East End (the place of the infamous Jack the Ripper)
79. See the Colliseum in Rome
80. Visit Transylvania
81. See all 7 wonders of the world
82. Make a quilt
83. Learn how to draw
84. Acquire a taste for all types of food
85. Learn how to make henna tattoos
86. Master physics
87. Go to a creation conference
88. Visit a full gospel church
89. Be able to do the splits
90. Go mountain biking
91. Learn how to dance hip-hop
92. Get over my fear of water
93. Learn all there is to know about the Bermuda Triangle
94. Read a commentary on every book of the Bible
93. Go to a country dance
94. Buy fireworks
95. Take a cooking class
96. Go hang-gliding
97. Learn how to do beadwork
98. Take ballet
99. Go to a broadway musical
100. Be a bridesmaid
Well there is the magical list of 100 :) Like I said, make one of your own! They're actually really hard to do...but it feels nice to get all of that on paper...
1. Go to Ireland
2. Go to Italy
3. Go to Israel
4. Go to Greece
5. Go to Scotland
6. Learn Greek
7. Learn Hebrew
8. Learn Gaelic
9. Go skydiving
10. Learn how to surf
11. Cook Thanksgiving dinner
12. Read every C.S. Lewis book
13. Buy my own place
14. Go white water rafting
15. Master roller-blading (I suck at it!! Its brutal...)
16. Learn how to say no - forcefully
17. Learn to play the drums
18. Learn the violin
19. Learn to play the bass
20. Read all the Lord of the Rings books
21. Go scuba diving
22. Bungee-jumping / Bridge-jumping
23. Write a song in spanish
24. Learn to make jewellry
25. Learn to crochet properly
26. Take a child psychology course
27. Go shopping in New York City
28. Learn to ride a motorcycle
29. Buy a motorcycle
30. Sing in a musical
31. Organize a childrens choir
32. Learn to speak Zulu
33. See the Gaithers in concert
34. Get a ferret
35. Join a lacrosse/rugby team
36. Learn how to salsa properly
37. Learn how to waltz
38. Learn how to tango
39. Compose a song piece
40. Enjoy a full day at the spa
41. Go on a spontaneous road trip
42. Grow a flower garden
43. Translate the Bible into a different language
44. Take swimming lessons
45. Swim with dolphins
46. Own a vineyard
47. Ride on an air balloon
48. Take an aromatherapy course
49. Get acupuncture
50. Get back in shape and stay in shape
51. Learn how to make creme brulee
52. Climb a mountain
53. Be broken up with
54. Try on wedding dresses for fun
55. Smoke a cigar
56. Go skinny dipping
57. Learn how to fix a car
58. Read the Qu'ran
59. Read the book of Mormon
60. Build a computer
61. Learn how to sail a boat
62. Go on a spontaneous vacation by myself
62. Learn how to paint
63. Take a photography course
64. Take a pottery course
65. Engage in a large food fight
66. Visit Machu Picchu
67. Explore the Egyptian pyramids
68. Travel to Easter Island
69. Visit the Stone Henge
70. Learn how to fly a plane
71. Try every culture of food
72. Surprise someone
73. Write a book
74. Go to Cirque du Soleil
75. Get my boating license
76. Volunteer at a Senior's Home
77. Volunteer at a drop-in center
78. See London's East End (the place of the infamous Jack the Ripper)
79. See the Colliseum in Rome
80. Visit Transylvania
81. See all 7 wonders of the world
82. Make a quilt
83. Learn how to draw
84. Acquire a taste for all types of food
85. Learn how to make henna tattoos
86. Master physics
87. Go to a creation conference
88. Visit a full gospel church
89. Be able to do the splits
90. Go mountain biking
91. Learn how to dance hip-hop
92. Get over my fear of water
93. Learn all there is to know about the Bermuda Triangle
94. Read a commentary on every book of the Bible
93. Go to a country dance
94. Buy fireworks
95. Take a cooking class
96. Go hang-gliding
97. Learn how to do beadwork
98. Take ballet
99. Go to a broadway musical
100. Be a bridesmaid
Well there is the magical list of 100 :) Like I said, make one of your own! They're actually really hard to do...but it feels nice to get all of that on paper...
Faithfully Unfaithful
Ah you see? Hey, I warned you that the posts would be few and far between. I do have an excuse however. Went camping/boating this weekend. So fun, got a lovely tan, but I'm extremely sore.
So heres my theory on my life. Almost all of my friends are either attached, engaged, married, or wish that they were. After several years of making mistakes where guys are concerned (I have a horrible habit of choosing the "bad boys" who, while fun at the moment, are exactly what they sound like. Bad.), I want a break. Kind of hard while watching everyone else in taken, engaged or wedded bliss, but I have become quite determined to stay single. But back to my theory. I think that this is the time of my life that I have to do all my "single girl" stuff. I have made a list, or am trying to make a list, of the 100 things that I want to do before I die. I have only gotten up to about 74, but I'm working on it. I'll post it when it is completed. I encourage you all to go make one, it feels really good somehow. This includes things like going skydiving, learning Gaelic, buying a motorcycle, learning how to salsa, etc. I'm already well on my way. Starting my first salsa class tonight!
Watch out for those latin boys, they are deadly!
So heres my theory on my life. Almost all of my friends are either attached, engaged, married, or wish that they were. After several years of making mistakes where guys are concerned (I have a horrible habit of choosing the "bad boys" who, while fun at the moment, are exactly what they sound like. Bad.), I want a break. Kind of hard while watching everyone else in taken, engaged or wedded bliss, but I have become quite determined to stay single. But back to my theory. I think that this is the time of my life that I have to do all my "single girl" stuff. I have made a list, or am trying to make a list, of the 100 things that I want to do before I die. I have only gotten up to about 74, but I'm working on it. I'll post it when it is completed. I encourage you all to go make one, it feels really good somehow. This includes things like going skydiving, learning Gaelic, buying a motorcycle, learning how to salsa, etc. I'm already well on my way. Starting my first salsa class tonight!
Watch out for those latin boys, they are deadly!
Friday, August 3, 2007
The Beginning
Well, before I start off with a description of myself, let me start this off right now with 2 things. First of all, this is a blog for myself, to get out my thoughts and work things out in my head. I welcome advice, etc. but all in all, that is the main purpose of it. Second, I have never been a faithful journalist. So I may post 20 one week and maybe 1 the next week. Just a warning.
About me. I live in Canada, I am a girl, I am a Christian. I'm not going to get a whole lot more detailed than that because its not important. I'll say that I'm between the ages of 18-24. The thing that defines me most is that I am a Christian. That molds and shapes my life, the decisions I make and my behavior in different situations. This blog will not have a lot of discussions about sex or anything like that. Mostly because I'm single :) But also because I'm one of those crazy old-fashioned people who believe in the "no sex until marriage" kinda thing. I've made some bad choices in my past, but I live in the present with my eyes on the future.
And I am enjoying the single life. That is another reason for this blog. A lot of the blogs written by girls like myself are filled with interesting stories of the guys they meet and talk to and go out with and imagine naked (or do more than imagine, haha). For those looking for another one, this will not be the same. I will undoubtedly talk about guys because hey, I'm a girl, and hey, I like guys. But I am definitely not ready for a relationship, and at this point am enjoying my life without any attachments. Because I've had trouble with being single in the past, I'm going to try it out ;)
A little more about me. I love music. I sing and play guitar, and I would LOVE to play the violin, bass guitar and drums one day. But one thing at a time. I love dancing. Can't say that I'm all that good at it, but that sure doesn't stop me from doing it anyways! Regardless of how white I look. I love reading as well. I want to read every CS Lewis book ever written on day. It is on my list of 100 things to do before I die, which I will get to eventually. I love movies. Especially musicals and chick flicks. Hairspray is officially my new favorite movie. But then, Lord of the Rings is on the list too. I love travelling too! About 8 months ago, I got back from a semester of college in Peru. Which was INCREDIBLE.
Anyways, that is more than enough for now, I'll be back!
Cheers
About me. I live in Canada, I am a girl, I am a Christian. I'm not going to get a whole lot more detailed than that because its not important. I'll say that I'm between the ages of 18-24. The thing that defines me most is that I am a Christian. That molds and shapes my life, the decisions I make and my behavior in different situations. This blog will not have a lot of discussions about sex or anything like that. Mostly because I'm single :) But also because I'm one of those crazy old-fashioned people who believe in the "no sex until marriage" kinda thing. I've made some bad choices in my past, but I live in the present with my eyes on the future.
And I am enjoying the single life. That is another reason for this blog. A lot of the blogs written by girls like myself are filled with interesting stories of the guys they meet and talk to and go out with and imagine naked (or do more than imagine, haha). For those looking for another one, this will not be the same. I will undoubtedly talk about guys because hey, I'm a girl, and hey, I like guys. But I am definitely not ready for a relationship, and at this point am enjoying my life without any attachments. Because I've had trouble with being single in the past, I'm going to try it out ;)
A little more about me. I love music. I sing and play guitar, and I would LOVE to play the violin, bass guitar and drums one day. But one thing at a time. I love dancing. Can't say that I'm all that good at it, but that sure doesn't stop me from doing it anyways! Regardless of how white I look. I love reading as well. I want to read every CS Lewis book ever written on day. It is on my list of 100 things to do before I die, which I will get to eventually. I love movies. Especially musicals and chick flicks. Hairspray is officially my new favorite movie. But then, Lord of the Rings is on the list too. I love travelling too! About 8 months ago, I got back from a semester of college in Peru. Which was INCREDIBLE.
Anyways, that is more than enough for now, I'll be back!
Cheers
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