Adding to the Noise

I am trying to keep politics out of this blog, but I have to speak up about something. I don't know if any of you know a guy named Glenn Beck. He has a radio show and a tv program. And is, in my opinion, on of the only guys in the media who has his head on straight. Thats all a matter of opinion though. However, if you look at his website, he has a section on hate mail. This is where he posts all of the emails and letters he receives with people spewing their insults and hatred for him. There seems to be one common theme in these. That would be liberals/democrats talking about how much they hate him, calling him racist, a pig, ugly, un-american, hatemongerer, etc. Now, question. How is it possible for these people to send these angry emails spewing their hatred, and accuse him of being a hatemongerer? Isn't that...isn't that what they are?

The funny thing is that their letters have no substance to them. Its like a 4th grade girls fight. "You're ugly, I hate you, why don't you shut up, you're fat, you're stupid", just with a whole lot of swearing involved. It is unbelievable. It wouldn't be so easy to make fun of democrats if they actually had something to back themselves up with. We disagree. Thats okay. You tell me its okay that you don't agree with me, but heaven forbid I disagree with you! How un-American it is to disagree! Oh wait. But...if we all were forced to agree on the same thing wouldn't that be...kinda like communism? And wait, isn't that something that we have all agreed is a bad thing?

Well geeze, now I'm just confused. So you are telling me that we are all different, all diverse and that is what makes human nature so beautiful and unique. Until you are a republican. Unless you are a white Christian. Wait, you don't agree with homosexuality or abortion? Go die a slow and painful death warmongering spawn of Satan!

I'm not trying to offend anyone with this, I just want to be able to have ONE normal conversation with someone who disagrees with me without it becoming a childish insult match. But I haven't been able to yet. Conservatives can disagree with each other and have a normal, calm debate about it. Bring a liberal into the picture? All hell breaks loose. I just don't get it.

Since when did differing opinions become such a bad thing? I disagree with you, you disagree with me. You know what? Thats okay! You don't need to force me to agree with you, just like I won't force you to agree with me. But can't we just talk about it like normal human beings?

The worst part is that no one really realizes it is happening. Take Islam. You should all read the book called Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She grew up in an Islamic family, and the stories you will read about that she went through! Beatings, female mutilation, rape, murder. Its horrible! The thing that she states to everyone is that people need to start opening their eyes and stop saying that Islam is a peace-loving religion. Americanized Islam? They are very peaceful, loving, kind people. But true Islam at its core? All you have to do is read passages in the Qu'ran. Thats why September 11th happened. Why do you think these people thought that they were serving God? Because they were just doing what God/Mohammed commanded them to do. And I'm tired of everyone arguing about that. Read the Qu'ran for yourself! People need to stop buying every word that is told them and start thinking for themselves. And people also need to stop pretending like it doesn't matter. These issues are important. Religion, evolution, climate change, abortion. These issues are important and people don't care enough to find things out for themselves, so they go with the flow. Its extremely frustrating!

*deep breath*

And now back to our regular broadcasting.

Rules for Dating my Friends

Thats it, no one else close to me is allowed to get in a relationship! Okay, I'm exaggerating, they can, I just won't be happy about it! Within the last week 2 more people have gotten into relationships and no more! Its not even spring so I can't blame Spring Fever. The worst is that my close group of friends was a group of five...now two of them are a couple and the other guy is now interested Jareds sister, so that leaves Jared and I. For those who forget, Jared is the guy who I have had an on and off friendship, now officially and finally off, for the last several years. So that unfortunately just leaves me and him and it feels either like we SHOULD be a couple or like we're a fifth wheel, even though theres two of us. He wants a relationship still, I don't, so I have to put some space between us.

Now the new couples are off doing couple-y things, including the ever irritating ditching every other person so that they can spend every waking moment with their significant other. Do I sound bitter??? Maybe I just don't like changes. Slow, gradual changes are cool. But this was like a freight train! But before things get all crazy in my head and I start ranting, allow me to describe my group of friends.
Jared - known him for about 10 years now, really good friend of mine. Have had an on and off relationship over the last few years that I finally put an end to which was a relief. Hes a fairly attractive guy, a gentleman, football player, handy around the house, all that. Basically any other girls dream. But its just not right for me. Its one of those "its not you, its me" kind of things.
David - known him for about 7 years, awesome guy, and hes huge! Hes a football player as well and definitely fits the role. Really sweet, has his quirks but nice enough. A ladies man. One of my best guy friends. Going out with Keri.
Taylor - just met him about 3 years ago, friend from high school. Very funny guy, lots of fun. Only just recently got closer to him, interested in Jareds sister.
Keri - one of my closest friends, just met her 3 years ago. She was very different then, into drugs, always in the wrong relationships. Started coming to my church and completely changed. Shes amazing. Very sarcastic and cynical, a typical anti-cheerleader kinda girl, I love her. Has liked David for about 2 years now, now hes finally returning the interested, I love it! Its about time.

And then theres me. So thats our group. We all went to the same high school. All did everything together. We were really close. And then the relationships started coming in. The group has split a bit. Keri and David are always off together. Taylor will only hang out with any of us if Jareds sister is there, and even so they will usually vouch to go off and do their own thing. Which leaves Jared and I. Now that we know the history of Jared, we can see why that might be a bit awkward. Needless to say either Jared needs to find a girlfriend soon or everyone else needs to knock it off and quit doing the "puppy-love, couples-only" crap.

Maybe its just PMS.

All By Myself, Don't Wanna Be All By Myself

Oh yes, I did use a Celine Dion song as a title. Sue me.

So as of...yesterday, 4 more of my friends are in relationships. Just like that. Boom. All in one day. I'm thrilled. I actually am thrilled for them, I got all giddy for them, I'm happy for them, but there is NOTHING like being one of the only single ones left in the group. Feels great. So there I am, all happy and giddy for them, planning their weddings already (I'm a loser, sue me.) and I'm going to end up as the old spinster lady with cats and a baseball bat that I wave at kids who come within 20 feet of my house. Okay, so I'm MAYBE being a little bit overdramatic. The thing is that there are only so many decent eligible guys in my acquaintance at the moment. And most of them are liked by people who are close to me. I've ruined enough friendships that way in the past, so I'm trying to avoid the guys who are already taken (even if they aren't aware that they are taken yet.)

I have a head start already. I have a cat. And shes black. I call her my baby. And I want another one. Even though I hate cats. I really do hate cats. But I want another one. Am I a freak? Or just lonely? *sigh*

I actually am enjoying just planning my friends' futures for them. It just reminds me that I am still attracted to guys and do still want a relationship. Eventually.

Too Early for Clever Titles

Well it is a FABULOUS day today, is it not? Sun is shining, birds are singing. Actually thats not true at all. Its kind of gray outside and I'm pretty sure all the smart birds have migrated already. Thats okay. Its still a great day.

Had my second salsa class last night which was SO much fun! Seriously though, watch out for latin boys. They're trouble. Good-looking trouble. Really really good-loo...I digress. My mom just got back from her weekend away and in hopes of starting things off well, I bought her flowers. Yes, I'm a suck-up. But hey, if it works, why not? I was in too much of a good mood to fight about petty things yesterday. And it worked. I was impressed. It was nice to see my brother again too, I don't get to see him much these days. By the way, hes 7. And hes awesome. Why the large age gap? Well you see, when I was 3 and my sister was about 5, my parents got divorced. They were apart for about 5 years, and man those were some fun years. Lots of screaming, fighting, tears, it was a good time.

Then my nana (grandma) got lung cancer, and they didn't expect her to live. They even did surgery but because they thought there was no chance that she would live, they did a crappy job. Leaving her with 2/3 of one lung left. Anyways, nothing they did could make her get better. Finally my dad started praying and completely turned his life around. The moment he did, my nana was completely better. Which some people would call amazing, I call it a miracle. Anyways, after that my parents started dating each other again and eventually got married again, and had my brother. Its pretty cool actually :)

Anyways, I've got a ton of work to do so I'm going to head off!
Cheers

Mr. More than That

I had a lovely weekend! Went boating and relaxing on saturday, then went spontaneously mountain climbing with a friend of mine. We had originally planned on just a hike, but we saw a mountain and said "hey, why not!". It was so good! I felt so energized after that. Course, my legs and hands are all cut up and my body is hating me today, but it was awesome!

Well I said I would talk about this other friend who used to be more than a friend at some point. I'll go into that now. I've known him for about 10 years or so. Hes an awesome guy, lots of fun, as I said before a really respectable and respectful gentleman. Anyways, for the last probably 6 years, we've had a relationship on and off. We would get close, and then he would get too close, and it appears that I'm commitment-phobic or something, because as soon as it got too close, I would run away.

This last time I was actually ready for a commitment, but he just did a few things that to anybody else would be completely innocent, but in my past relationships there have been a few guys who refuse to listen to the word "no", and will push it and push it and bug me about it that I would either give in or they would do it anyways. So I'm really sensitive about things like that. So this guy, and I should probably give him a name so I can start sorting between "this guy" and "this other guy" and "this one other guy". Lets call him Jared.

So anyways, Jared would push physical things, and not like sex or anything, just innocent things like holding hands and kissing, but I had a really really bad experience just a few months ago, and those feelings are still really raw. So it freaked me out and we slowly started drifting away. We still hang out all the time and hes like a brother to me. I don't hold it against him because he knows nothing about what has happened in my past and they were completely innocent things. It really bothers me that I reacted the way that I did, but I can't control that. I'm working on it. So we still hang out as friends, and we had the "I just want to be friends" talk which made things awkward for a while. Which is why I am enjoying the single life. Hence the title :) I felt a lot of freedom after talking with him.

The biggest problem is that EVERYONE for the last few years has talked about how we would be perfect for each other and talking about the wedding, etc. My mom loves him like hes her own son, and sometimes seems to care more about how he is feeling than how I am feeling. Hes also a lot nicer than I am and she uses that on me a lot. Kinda sucks when I hear that "he deserves someone better". Meh. The right guy will come along, I'm just hoping he'll hold off for a little while longer :)

I was listening to "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Michael Buble yesterday and I'm pretty sure that it describes me completely.

This thing called love, well I just can't handle it
This thing called love, I must get around to it
I ain't ready, crazy little thing called love

Anyways, back to the grind!

Close Call

Just got back from watching Rush Hour 3 with two of my best guy friends (one used to be a bit more than that, but I'll get into that at a later date). Before I continue, let me just say that Rush Hour 3 is HILARIOUS. Go see it. Like. Now.

Anyways, on a more serious note, these two guys almost died today in a car crash. And its about the 3rd time in the last month that either one or both of them nearly died in a car accident. In all cases they should have at least been in the hospital, yet all times they have come out without a scratch. Now, most people would say that they are lucky. I have a different point of view which is probably contraversial. I believe that they have been kept alive by the grace of God. They are both absolutely incredible young men, love God with all their hearts, and also happen to be among the large minority of guys who still believe that chivalry is not dead. That alone makes them stand out. Its very scary though, I care about them both a ton and I'm just about ready to take their keys away from them, lol. All I can say is that God has quite the plan for their lives because theres gotta be some reason why they are alive, because they certainly aren't doing anything to keep themselves that way, haha.

Listening to Apologize by One Republic...depressing but I can definitely relate to it...question for y'all, is it possible for it to ever be "too late" for anything? "It's too late to apologize, its too late". Is that possible? I can relate to the feeling of being tired of excuses and tired of getting screwed over and lied to. And I've wanted to not accept apologies before. But I have found that not accepting apologies just allows them to build up into a bitterness inside of me. Until I can forgive and "forget" (as much as one can forget), I am unable to let go.

Hmm, food for thought. Off to bed.

Bring on the Coffee

Ugh, so I can tell that its going to be a crappy day.
Woke up late this morning and it was freezing in my house, went upstairs to take a shower and all the hot water had been used already. My ride couldn't find the keys to her car which caused us to be even later. The train left just as we got to the station. Tripped over a grate on the sidewalk. Got to the office, missed both elevators that were going up. (As a side note, the elevators in our building are demon-possessed, I swear. I walked to the one that said it was going up and it closed in my face. Same thing happened with the next one). Got into work and I have a huge pile of invoicing issues that I need to fix which will take a long time to fix because someone else screwed up their job. I love fixing other peoples mistakes.

And I am so tired of fighting with my mom! When we get along, we are really close. But when she is in a "mood", she is impossible to deal with! Nothing I do is right. Of course I happen to have an older sister who is perfect. Who I constantly get compared to. Usually I can just brush it off but yesterday was unbelievable!

And I'm really really sick of her and my older sister needing to know how much money I have, what I'm spending my money on, whether I really think that I need to spend it on this or that, etc. Seriously, I'm an adult! I know that I'm really bad at spending my money right away, but I'm also really good at saving it. And having a social life tends to cost a little bit of money. UGH.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to the weekend...going out of town to relax at a lake. Or depending on the weather, relaxing by a pool. At the moment everything is dark and grey and its raining.

Its going to be a fantastic day.